Our love behind the door

Believe in your power

As women or girls we are always put down cause of our emotions and do you some times wonder why?
Like why are we expected to get married or be pregnant
I mean look at me i gave this boy his first child and i am down due to i do not have the ring and if only they knew behind close doors how painful it is to be with him, you see the is a difference between a player and a fuck boy then my baby daddy.
Have you ever loved someone and really love them with their imperfections and their ways the bad once too, that is me at this point i have a feeling that this boy only wants me when he can't have me at all or if he sees another guy into me well he will make them think we are together, he is a sick boy i must tell you so as we are having breakfast without Summer here, something for me was off...way off but i only wanted to take a shower and get the hell out of here.
So after breakfast i bathed Pono and took a shower but Pono was staying behind cause it was still D day to be with her so i just stayed a little longer until she fell asleep and if you know my Pono she did.
I went down stairs looking Nari to say goodbye but she is no where to be found and as i open the door to leave the he was outside and waiting for me in his car and i got in but wait i said Nari was no where to be found who will Pono stay with?
So i asked D to stay i will get a taxi to take me back but he asked me to stay for a little while
Remember Q asked when he can pick me up well i called him to do so but i didn't D to see him so i said i will get a taxi but since he is acting up i guess i have to call Q to pick me up.
So went inside the house and called Q to pick me up, then he said i should give him 30 minutes only cool.
I went to sit in the sitting room and watch the television but for real i was waiting Q to pick me up and free time, then D came into the house and sit next to me i swear this guy was trying me for real and the worst thing is i was not in the mood to sit with him or talk to him at all.
Have you ever been so mad or angry at a person to the point of not wanting to see them or sit next to them well that is me at this moment, out of no where i look perfect in his eyes at this moment i think he is a sick boy for real when i move on he wants a piece of me but when i was crazy about him he was not thinking about my well being or trying to have a small talk with me. I feel disrepected as his baby mama but what can say he is a dog for real, with my i freak out when things i didn't plan just pop up like it drives me crazy in a bad way i guess i have to learn that, just learn to except that somethings i can not control.
Q was outside and he called to tell me he is outsid so i told D
Me: my ride is here, i am leaving.
D: what ride? I said i will take you home, any ways what is the rush?
Me: bye D.
D: wait.......
I walked out and went to Q's car and we drove away which was nice seeing him but i felt good leaving him it was like i got my power back again..... wait that is it you see when a guy has power over you like he knows that you are crazy about him and you won't move on he starts treating you like a side piece but when you do not feel him at all like you are over his ass as a whole then he starts wilding out on you crazy.
You see back then if D would kiss me i would kiss him back and i will not let go due to me being in love with him but now when he kiss me i feel bad, like i want to cry myself and hide under a rock in the worst way ever.
I got my power back which feels good to get it back but does this mean i am over him emotionally i mean i think i am right......
Q dropped me off and we chilled and talked about the party it was fun time i tell you and he couldn't believe that i can dance which i can't but if your partner is good at it so will you i am that kinda of a dance, talking to Q was different it was like he was not trying to fuck me or date me it was pure emotions both ways and it was nice feeling that,  that feeling of a guy who is not trying to lie to you or break your heart even fuck you but just want to be with you as a person.
Q made me feel beautiful and happy a lot he was kind and very funny and he loved talking to me to checking me up while i was talking to Q my phone went off and it was D
( phone call)
Me: hello
Devanter: so you called him to pick you up when you have me to do that?
Me: what are you talking about
Devanter: that boy who picked you up.
Me: ohh......Q yeah ,why do you care?
Devanter: because.........
Me: because what?
Then he hanged up the call.