Our love behind the door

Birthday plans

Now as a mother my baby always comes first so when Nari came, i thought she was here for girls day and night but NO............ the are huge plans come to think of it i haven't seen Deventer the whole day. I took a long hot shower and when i was done i went to my room i found a women waiting for me with make -up around her, okay now i am worried until Nari came in holding Pono and she said it is my present or so i allowed it and also she gave me this beautiful long dress, it was making me look so sexy and i loved that feeling every one was looking at me and taking me pictures than Nari got a call and out of nowhere the was a car waiting for me , okay at this time i should be asking questions right and wanting to know what is going on right  but i didn't ask i just made sure if my baby was fine and i left when i was in the car i think i called Nari 15 times to check if Pona is fine and well out of nowhere we were not moving and the car was not moving then the driver opened the door for me. There he was looking all sexy in his black suit and his clean smile he even got a hair cut and i can tell he smells good by just looking at him, he came to get me and he gave me a hug manh i was right he does smell so good like something you can eat ohhh i didn't tell you who is "he" well my baby daddy Devanter and he planned all of this for me, a roof top dinner for two with a private chef and small lights every were, fire place by the side and a cake but everything was beaitiful including me well after our long hug he pulled a chair for me to sit and well he set across me so that he can be all i look at let me start by talking about the food like fire the food are flame i tell you it was like i am me again well it is my birthday and i am 20 now so yeah i should be be feeling good. Our conversation was perfect we talked like before like we are friends again and we talked about our baby, our home manh we really need to move away from that flat we even talked about family and the one we never want to talk about " OUR LOVE" i really him even if i do not tell him i love him and the worst thing is dreaming about him but what can i do? We went all night long talking over and over ohhhhh...manh this was our first ever real date if it was a date but it is our first and i am happy most people left the chef and our driver but Devanter came with his car so we had ride back, we moved to see next to the fire place and he put his jacket on me manh it smells like him like his body and i will be lying if i do not say i miss it on top of me just to hear him breath inside me and after that our cuddle chart but he really smells good to forget about his body on top of me i had to call Nari to check but she was sleeping so u guess they are fine. We talked all night up until 00:00 and i started feeling really cold and i hate the fact that he knows my body so we went to his car so that we can go home but i was feeling super cold so i was sitting at the back trying to warm myself up and he came to help and when i tried pushing him away that lead to a kiss, i swear every kiss he gives it feels like a bullet in my heart that was a mistake kiss up until he grapped my nack and pulled me closer and really kissed me and he looked at me and said " are you sure" fuck every time he says that to me i become weak to say "No" so i just hold him and he kiss me all over some how the heat came into the car he held me so perfect like he was protecting me it was painful like i went 2 years without anything but he came and made me feel at peace; every round felt like a new one so "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME" cause i fucked up again i should be far away from him i mean he said he doesn't see me as his wife but here i am in this car making love to him i mean he might love right but i am not good enough to be his wife so what am i doinf to myself with him i should be getting an award for the best fool ever but what can i say after our "Thing" we left to go home
As soon as i got in Pono was awake and having breakfast so i went to shower and came to sleep with her cause i know when she is done eating she is going to sleep, Nari wanted to ask but i had no time to speak i only wanted to sleep while i was sleeping i started crying so bad i was crying the pain of me being in love with him and the pain of cheating on that other girl i just had a lot of pain inside me caused by him and his body but we already have a child so we are always connected for life cause of our love creation. I didn't feel like waking up so face him cause it was so hard to do that
What will i do next?