Our love behind the door

Dishonesty

As he kissed me i teasted his dishonesty on his lips and that felt cold and painful i mean it is bad enough that he doesn't want to marry me or date me but making me side piece or fun hour now i lost my respect and seeing it or feeling it that was bad, before i can push him away he moved on his own and my eyes were like written ( what are you doing my love) but i didn't say it or any thing he just moved his lips away from mine and he looked at me and than he said " i am so so sorry" than walked out my room with some guilt  and that made me wonder  why was he acting like that but i just went to sleep i just didn't feel the party like that and we stayed another week but we didn't talk at all, back then if he kiss me or hold me my body, my soul just runs wild but this time it was different very different i was not that crazy over him, what does this mean?
I mean back then if he does this i was going to dream about him but this time i felt nothing at all any ways Q called me every day and it felt good talking to him and we will video call but he doesn't Pono i mean he knows that i am a mother but he has never seen Pono so yeah i mean me and Q we are only friends right........yeah we are.
We love almost everything
From food to music so yeah
We will video call to every place i go and skype some nights it felt good but the whole week i was all about Q and we planned a meet up when i came from london so i can not wait for us to vibe and chill so Q and me time and the week went by so quick and it was Friday the day we live and it was nice to spend two weeks with my mother and it felt good but i still do not know my own mother so it was fine.
Any ways it was Friday so Devanter was taking Pono up until Monday so when we landed he took me home and they went to his house, so i got in my house and just sleep like deadass asleep i woke up the following day and Q said i should come and see him so we meet up in our joint the place we love eating so felt good being with him the whole weekend i was with him and he even took me to his place which is so nice but yeah we chilled up until Monday i was ready to be with Pono again so he came to drop her off and Summer was there next to him holding my child like HOLDING MY CHILD okay why are they playing family with my child i mean hell no that is my work so why are they all family bu any ways it not that big of a deal i mean i fucked her man a.k.a my baby daddy/ my heart holder so i should be calm cause we cheated on her a lot of time for like 4 months damn! We fucked for 4 months damn! That is weird any ways they came in and he went to put her to sleep and left me with Summer then she said "thank you for the weekend with her"
Okay she said " weekend with her" right.... i mean no one asked if it is fine by me
I just had to be nice cause i am fucking her man so a thank is being nice any ways he came back and he said "i will call later promise"
I only said "okay".
Okay am i crazy to be mad at him i mean i have never let any man meet her due to respecting him but he is busy having family time with my child and her i mean that is this disrespct right or i am crazy any ways Q called me and asked "how am i doing" i was angry so i invited him over and gave him my address i was angry do you blame me cause you better not.
The time he showed up Pono woke up and i didn't feel like cooking so we went out to get some tacos as i am looking at Pono eat i still can not believe she is 1 year old and i am 20 i mean i am not lying Pono is the most beautiful child ever so i miss holding her like a baby but now she is growing up any ways Q finally meet my baby they are really alike they talk about drawing and toys it was like easying my mind but if you know my child she loves sleeping so she fell asleep, u swear if you all can see how beautiful she looks mostly when she is sleeping like you will think i am dreaming the best gift i ever got in life ever.
Q finally left so that i can get some sleep but the following 3 weeks i won't see him cause he is going on a vacation so yeah
The whole week it was Pono and mama week we cuddled, we cooked, we played and baked so our time was fun up until Thurday she was living me i just wanted to keep her more any ways D came and he said he was busy and he forgot to call me but he is having a birthday party and i am invited, i forgot about his day like for real but i was invited so that is good i guess he took Pono and the house started feeling sad i had nothing to do but i invited Nari for a girls weekend.