The sky was a beautifully pale blue. Like someone had laid a sheet of sheer cloth over the world. Markus watched the sun rise. This could be his last chance to enjoy such a thing. He savored it. It was calming.
"I was wondering where you were..."
Markus turned around to see North. She was putting a brave front up, but he could tell she was just as nervous as he was. He motioned to the sky.
"I just needed to think..."
North tried to make light conversation, but Markus barely listened. Ever since he had left Rose's he had had so many doubts. He wished he could get some answers, but he didn't have anywhere to turn for guidance. He was all alone.
Face the abyss.
The painting he had seen that one time in the art gallery was on his mind more and more often these days. He felt as if he was the man in the picture. He was alone, walking into the darkness. It pressed on his thoughts, taunting him. He wished he knew what it meant, but it was painted before he had been given to Carl.
"You seem preoccupied..."
Markus pulled himself out of his thoughts and gave North a weak smile. He hated people seeing him like this, but maybe that was part of his problem. Maybe he needed to trust someone with this.
"They count on me... They count on me to show them the way... If only they knew how lost I am..."
"All the media are talking about what we did last night... The humans are terrified... They're afraid of a civil war... Many of our people were burned in response to what happened... The humans hate us... They'll never give us our freedom."
Markus shrank back a little. That hadn't helped. He knew she was right, though. People were scared, and they were reacting to the news by hurting the innocent androids they owned. Markus had caused all those deaths. The pressure threatened to crush him.
"It's too late to go back now. We have to finish what we started and just hope that reason prevails."
North was watching him closely, and he put on an air of confidence he didn't feel. He wished he could be as confident as he once had been. Carl had told him he would have to make a decision, but he never warned him of the doubt that followed that decision. How was he supposed to know if he had made the right choices?
"You haven't said much about yourself since you've been with us... What was your life like before Jericho?"
"I was caring for an old man... He was like a father to me... He showed me that humans and androids can live together..."
Would Carl be proud of his choices? It hurt to think of the man, but how could he not? Carl had given him the hope he held for his people. People and androids finding they weren't as different as they thought. He wished Carl was here now.
"What about you? You never told me about your past, what did you do before?"
"I don't wanna talk about it."
Markus could see the pain she was hiding. It hurt him to see, and he wished he understood. He wanted to know.
"Why do you hate humans so much? There must be a reason..."
She shrugged. "I just... I was nothing... A doll in a distributor programmed to satisfy humans... Just a toy designed for their pleasure... One day, I was with a man who'd rented me...and without knowing why, realized I couldn't take it anymore... I strangled him... and I ran away... There, now you know everything. I shouldn't have told you."
She turned to leave, but Markus stopped her. He was holding her hand, and he suddenly wanted her to see him as he really was. He requested a link and was surprised when she allowed it. He tore down the guards that had been put in place to keep others out and showed her the memories he had kept hidden from all the other androids he had linked with.
