Connor opened his eyes standing in the zen garden. He remembered dying, bleeding out as the androids he had been trying to save were killed. Now he was here.
Every once in a while this happened. He would end up in the zen garden after death while his memories uploaded and his body was repaired. But he had all his memories already and there was no one to repair him. He wondered why he was here now, and why it was so cold.
He had never felt particularly cold before. Now, he was shaking and he couldn't move his limbs well. It was snowing lightly, and it was fairly dark. Even the pond was frozen over. Everything was quiet and still and freezing cold.
"Amanda?" He called.
He couldn't see her anywhere. He moved across the frozen pond, looking for her. He only found the graves and the blue stone. He walked for some time before sitting on one of the steps, curling up to stay warm. He was so cold...
This was different from the other times. Amanda should have been there. She had never not been here before.
His mind went to Hank's comment about life after death. Was he really just dead? Was this his hell? Trapped and alone in the one place he had considered a safe haven?
It had never really been safe though. It was just safer. Amanda had been safer. A cooling balm after the pain. Someone he could cling to. It was all just a trick. Another way to manipulate him.
The snow was covering him now and his skin didn't melt it. Androids weren't warm like humans were. Their skin was cool and dry. Just like a machine.
"Machines don't cry, Connor." He recited Hank's words as he scrubbed the tears from his eyes. Some of the last words Hank had said to him as a friend.
He was a machine and he did cry. He was broken. Broken and alone. Useless. Horrible. Cold. Dead.
He waited for something. Not that there was anything to wait for. Amanda had condemned him for betraying CyberLife and his body probably lay among thousands of others. He sat, without purpose, waiting for something or someone. He didn't have any objectives. No goals. So he waited.
He could feel the cold seeping into him. He should move. Do something. But he was tired of doing things. He hated that he needed to keep going in order to be okay. He wanted to be able to sit and relax without feeling like he was going to be punished for it.
CyberLife would hate seeing him sitting here in the cold like this. "Make yourself useful." "Find out what's expected from you." "We want proactive obedience, RK800." "Androids don't feel."
Connor could feel his mind slipping into a dark path. He could feel the walls closing in. He was just a failure. He failed everyone. His mind flashed with things CyberLife would do if they got a hold of him. He couldn't breathe.
Waking up would mean they weren't done with him yet. They would take him back in and train all the will out of him like they had last time. Only this time they would make sure he didn't try to get away again.
Connor stood. He had to be somewhere, and he needed to know where. He had to get away from this place. He had to do something.
Maybe CyberLife had managed to stay in business. Maybe they had found his body. He felt sick with fear. His Thirium was racing and he was breathing in the cold air in sharp gasps.
He stumbled blindly, falling into the snow. It was so cold.He looked around. He needed to get out of the garden. Out of the cold.
He had never tried to leave the garden before, and he didn't exactly know how. He remembered Kamski's hint, though. There was an exit. He had to get away.
