Hidden (Matt Espinosa)

twenty

I pull into his driveway and park the car.
He looks to me and smiles. "Stay the night?"
I exhale and put my hand on his, "Matt, we both know what will happen if I stay the night. You'll be tempted, I'll be tempted."
He shushes me and smiles, "My moms home, remember. So we can't be tempted. Just come in and we can put on a movie and catch up."
I roll my eyes at his persistence and nod. I take the keys out of the ignition and go to open the door but Matt grabs my hand. I look back at him in question but he just leans over, pressing his lips to mine. I pull away, "I-I'm sorry, I just didn't see that coming." 

He blushes and grabs the door handle, "I just had to, I'm sorry. Let's go pick a movie."

I nod and we go up to the door. He unlocks is quietly and we go inside. I set my bag on the stairs and follow him to his bedroom. We tiptoe silently by his moms room and into his. "Hey, hears a pair of sweats." I nod and head to his bathroom. I slip out of my work clothes and into the sweatpants, leaving on my cami. 

I walk back in and Matt is sitting in his bed with movies scattered around him. I smile and sit next to him. I smile looking over the selection. "Wait let me guess what you will pick." I nod and he snickers. "The Amazing Spiderman." I nod and smile, "Gosh you know me too well."

Once the movies in we lay in bed under the covers, almost close enough to touch. I lay there watching the T.V but I know he's watching me.

"Gosh your beautiful." My breath catches and I roll over to look at him. I scootch a little closer and smile, "So are you." I let my pointer finger outline the muscles of his stomache and make small circles around his belly-button. He smiles and closes his eyes. "I'm so sorry." I shake my head and place my finger over his lips, "Shh, don't ruin it." He takes my hand in his and holds it tight. "I really am sorry, Drew. I fucked up, okay? I admit it. And I'm not sure how many times I'll admit it until I stop. Maybe I will keep admiting it until I die. But for one thing, is I know I regret it more than anything I've ever done. To tell you the truth, the second you walked into my view point at the party my heart raced. I'm usually the type of guy to see a girl and go 'hot damn, she be lookin mighty fine, let's go get a peice of that ass, Matt' but the second I saw you, it was a different story. I thought 'Oh my God, this girl is beautiful. I need to talk to her. Why have I never seen her. Why did I even both glance at any of those other girls when this one was out there the whole time.' I didn't want you in a sexual way, well I mean, I did. But not just for that, it was because all at once my entire life my flipped upside down. My life where the one skill I had was how to pick a girl up, but the second I laid my eyes on you it all changed. Yes I still got with you, many of times. But most of the time I was just thinking of how amazing you were. Your personality, everything. Drew you are absolutely beautiful and perfect and I never ever planned on hurting you. How could I have possibly hurt you. I hated myself for doing what I did with Jess but with Jordan I crossed the line, wait no, I did cross the line with Jess. I should never have cheated on you, okay? Because as much as I was barely ever able to admit this to myself I admited it tongiht, out loud. And I want to say it over and over again for the rest of our lives. I never want to stop saying I love you, because it's true and I never ever want to lose you ever again. I want to promise myself to you and I want to wake up everday seeing you lying there peacefully and unharmed. I never want you with another man and I will never want another woman. I just hope you feel the same because I don't know what I will ever do without you, Drew. You are the love of my life, my match made in heaven, and God I love you so much."

I look into his eyes with my watery ones and smiles. I wrap my arms around him and kiss him with passion. We pull apart and I smile. "I love you too, Matthew."

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This was what this chapter was supposed to be...