SPARKS | JENLISA, CHAESOO

Chapter 19

Jennie's POV.

It was almost midnight when I came back to our apartment. I tiptoed through the living room where Chu was sleeping on the couch and quietly opened the bedroom door. I almost gasped in surprise when I realized that Lisa wasn't sleeping. She wasn't even in bed, she was sitting in the corner, on the floor, with her back against the wall.

"I need to talk to you." The tone of her voice immediately made me uneasy.

"Sure, what's wrong?" I came over to her.

"I am." she replied sadly. "Could you sit over there, on the bed?" she asked and I obeyed.

"I know it took a lot of courage to confess that you liked me. So I guess I owe you the same thing. I have a crush on you too."

My body went crazy in a second: my heart was racing madly, I heard whizzing in my ears and I felt a wave of heat reaching my cheeks. Is it really happening? Did I hear her right?

"You do?" I only managed to say.

"Yes I do, from the beginning, although for a long time I hadn't realized it myself. I'm so ashamed..."

"Why??? There's nothing to be ashamed of..."

"Oh, there is. Let me lay it out for you. My stretches right in front of your eyes? Putting my legs on your side of the bed? Walking around in tight shorts? I did all these things on purpose because I wanted to seduce you, I wanted you to fall for me. And I did it all subconsciously because I didn't even want to admit to myself that I desired you. I wanted you to make the first move because I'm just a pathetic coward, afraid of my own feelings... ashamed to realize that I can want someone..."

"Lisa, don't make a big deal out of it, what you did isn't embarrassing at all..."

"Do you know that I lost that game of darts on purpose? That I did it because I hoped that something could happen between us if I shared a bed with you?"

I gasped in surprise.

"Okay, maybe it's a little embarrassing." I had to admit, smiling soothingly. "But we all did similar things. I remember when I was thirteen I had a crush on this older boy and I printed his photo, plastered it on my shirt and went to school like that."

"Really? Oh my god!"

"See? People do crazy things because of their feelings. It's perfectly normal."

"Yeah, but you were just thirteen. And I'm already twenty-one and... I still behave like a confused thirteen-year-old."

"That's your charm, Liz. Come here and give me a hug."

"I don't think it's the best idea..."

"Come on, it'll be just a friendly hug."

She got up and put her arms around me. She was much taller than me but at that moment she looked so tiny and so wonderfully vulnerable in my arms. Her closeness made my head spin, I gently kissed her face next to her ear. She didn't object so I placed another kiss one in the middle of her cheek. I could feel her trembling slightly, as my lips moved towards hers and brushed against them lightly...

That's when she moved away.

"Jennie, I'm sorry, I can't. I'm still confused about everything... And I have to be honest with you. I have a crush on you but... my views haven't changed. I'm not having sex with someone I'm not in love with."

"Sex? We were barely kissing..."

"Please, you know it wouldn't stop there." she said blushing slightly. I had to admit to myself that she was right. The images that I had in my head were a clear evidence of that. They involved both of us engaging in something other than kissing, something more... sweaty and naked.

"So are you okay with that?" she asked and I hesitated.

"I don't know." I replied after a brief pause.