Keep Holding On

How Much is That Doggie in the Window

April 10th, 2030
Malibu, USA
Miley's POV

Liam and I are still trying to get pregnant. I'm taking a pregnancy test every three weeks. It probably seems crazy, but if I am pregnant I wanna know as soon as I can. Liam and I aren't gonna tell anyone until I am officially pregnant. That way if it doesn't happen we won't have to worry about talking about it. Currently I'm with my mom at Liam's and my house. I just need some time alone with my mom. Well I wanted to visit with both mom and dad, but dad is home and sick. So I convinced Liam to leave the house for a bit so I could have mom at my home.

"So when did the kids get off spring break?" My mom asks me.

"Today is their first day back to school actually. That's why I wanted you over today. I'm finally kid free. Thanks for coming mom. I wish dad could've been here. I wanted to visit with you both."

"You're welcome. Your dad really wanted to come but he's so sick and he didn't wanna risk getting you or anyone else sick too. So, what did you wanna talk about?"

"Oh uh, how have you and dad been?"

"We're doing pretty good. I'm kinda missing my grand babies though."

"Yeah, Liam and I took the kids on a little trip to Australia while they were on spring break. We can come over this weekend though so you can see them. Well, as soon as dad feels better." I say.

"That'd be great, your dad will love that too. How are you and Liam doing?"

"Huh?"

"How are you and Liam doing? Probably nice now that the kids are gone for a few hours."

"Oh! Uh, we're good, we're good. Um...not very busy, Liam and I have a lot of free time so we've been...finding things to do."

"Miley are you okay? You seem a little off lately." Mom replies, looking concerned.

"I'm fine, I'm good, I'm great actually."

"Miley I'm your mom, I know when something is bothering or upsetting you. If you don't wanna get into it then that's fine, I just wanna make sure you're okay. Like I said, I'm your mom, I worry."

"I'm fine mom, really...okay fine, I have been kinda down.. I'm just..."

I love my mom and I wanna tell her so bad, but I don't wanna get her excited for something that might not even happen. I know if I tell her she'll get all happy. But I don't wanna lie to her. What do I choose, spill the secret or lie to my mom?

"Liam and I are trying for a baby, again." I hate lying to my family, especially my mom. "But it's kinda bothering me."

"That's wonderful Miley." She says with a smile. Knew it. "But why on earth is it bothering you?"

"I want it so badly, I want another baby so fucking bad. I just don't wanna go through the whole "can't have a baby" feeling. It broke my heart last time. It broke my heart when we lost Griffin. It broke my heart when we lost Benjamin too. I just don't know if I can handle my heart breaking again."

"I don't know what will happen. I don't know if you'll get pregnant again. But what I do know, is that you are strong and you can handle anything life throws at you. You've gone through a lot of loss in your life, but you're strong. All you gotta do is have a little faith. How's Liam doing with it all?"

"Even though he doesn't say he is, I know he's nervous. I'm just not sure if he's nervous about whether it's gonna happen or not, or he's nervous about having another baby." I explain.