For the Record - b.e

My tour, My bus

After the show was over everyone was packing up everything onto the tour buses. Danny still hasn't told me if I'm getting my own bus with my brother and band. I was packing my suitcase with my normal clothes when Jordan came in with his suitcase. After everything had died down, Jordan and I had a calm conversation. I let him come on tour I wouldn't be able to do it without his support. "So I have bad news, for you. Good news for me," I sigh in response. "I'll tell you the good news. The good news is that the band and I are on a bus together." I tell him to go on even though I have a feeling what the next thing is.

"The bad news is you have to go on Billie's bus," Jordan states. I just sat there taking this shit in. "Fucking hell, I mean I might as well be going on tour with the devil," I say rolling my suitcase to the door.  "It's not going to be that bad, maybe," Jordan says, I turn around and stare at him. We both know that's not true, she's probably going to make my life a living hell. 

We get to the busses and Jordan loads his stuff on the bus he was going on. I put on my headphones to listen to a playlist I made when I first came to LA. Very soft songs from many different artists that I've listened to for years. I see Finneas taking my suitcase giving me a pity smile. Danny tells everyone it's time to go; I hug Jordan one last time before making my way to Billie's bus. 

As soon as I got on the bus all eyes were on me. "Yo, what the hell is she doing here Finneas?" Billie says standing up and blocking my path. "Well, you see Billie, Danny wanted it this way. He thinks the more you guys are together the better you are at faking it to the world" 

"Oh, and nobody thought to tell me? Are we forgetting whose tour this is? It's my tour, this is my bus, and I'm not letting some 15-minute bitch ruin it!" Billie says raising her voice. "EXCUSE ME?!" I've had enough of her. "You heard what I fucking said," Billie steps closer to me.

The bus starts to move. Billie goes to the back of the bus where the artist sleeps. There were 6 bunks, one for Finneas, Claudia, Me and the bus driver. The other 2 were extras to put random stuff in. 

An hour into driving me, Finneas, and Claudia had gotten into an intense card game. "She's not all that bad you know?" Finneas says out of nowhere. "She just doesn't know how to handle all of this. I mean when you started gaining the attention of the media as someone who has the same type of story. She felt like everyone was going to stop listening to her and start listening to you," Finneas explains. She's simply jealous of how I started. "It doesn't give her the right to act like a raging cunt all the time."  

"I think you can become really good friends, you should probably sit down and have a conversation alone". What if that backfires? What am I supposed to do then? I don't want to have awkwardness between us, I mean I gotta basically fake date her for 8 months. I rather have her hate me than things be constantly awkward when we are in the same room together. But Finneas did make a good point that I should at least try and talk to her alone.

We make it to our first gas stop, Finneas says this is the time to get any snacks I might want. I text Jordan and we meet inside the gas station. Jordan and I always get the best snacks; both healthy and unhealthy. If I were to list how much we got, we'd be here forever. He said that in a month if the living situation is too toxic I can move into my bus. Jordan also said that nobody will sleep in my bed out of respect for me. 

🤍

We've been back on the road for 3 hours now, our next tour stop is only an hour away. I have been chilling in my bunk the last couple of hours listening to music not really thinking much. My phone dings letting me know I have a text message. I look at my phone seeing a message from Ms. Eilish. You'd think it's something of putting our differences aside and being friends but no. She wants me to turn down my music; I do so out of respect. Since this is her bus and I'm just an unwelcome guest in it.