✔ Oneshot Compilation「 karmagisa 」

essence.

“You love her, don’t you?” Nagisa asked, following the redhead's gaze that was silently observing the beauty that was seated by the swing.

“It doesn’t matter. Not anymore, at the very least. Look at her, such valiant aura that I cannot ever dream to hold. I’m getting discouraged even more. Maybe it will be better to just give up.”

To Karma’s exasperation, the bluenet sighed. Reaching his hands slowly, he held back and could only muster a light tap on Karma's shoulder.

“I never knew you were such a coward, Karma.” Tauntingly, he said. Standing up, he looked at the boy’s mercury-amber eyes and stared at it intently. “What is it to you that she’s that vibrant? Have you not said that you're accustomed to being in the dark? Why are you trying to shine brighter? To become something you're not? I thought the Akabane Karma does not know how give up? ”

Once again, he flashed his usual comforting smile and started staring once again into oblivion.

“Keep reaching her, Karma. One day, I'm sure that she would not be that unreachable for you. Light and darkness always coexist, so you'll never chase each other any longer.”

Several minutes had passed before he had the strength to stand up. With a brand new grin on his face, he jogged towards the girl, a joyous aura emanating around him for the first time.

“Thank you, Nagi!”

“Glad to be of help.” With that, he smiled. Though this time, it was different. This time was more peculiar than the others. Because this time, it was bitter.

Slowly, he watched as he faded away from his sight, running happily towards the person he adored. Slowly, gently, but surely, he was truly happy.

‘Why can't you see me?’

ー・ー

That day, he just watched silently. With the cold breeze and calm atmosphere as his only companions, he watched as his friend— his only friend, drifted further away, to reach for his precedented happiness.

“As long as he’s happy, I’ll be happy too.”

That line, was too cliché.

How could he be happy? When finally, the only person whom he fully trusted, loosened his ties. There was nothing holding him back anymore. That there were no more strings that were pulling him inwards. Finally, he could be free. And he was there, once again left alone. With only the emptiness accompanying him, he watched.

They’d laugh together. They’d smile at each other. Just like how Karma and him used to do with each other around. Karma would tease him with his clumsy antics, then the redhead would let Nagisa sleep on his lap at times, as compensation. But, just now, he was doing it with another. He set out his insecurities at that very moment.

Why was he not born a girl if he was this feminine? Why can't just he like someone else? Someone that could reciprocate his damn feelings?

These facts alone were nothing compared to the person he adored the most. That person, was one of a kind. The only one out of billions of people who could ever make Karma's heart beat. Whenever trials come, she would just smile. Whenever she would get hurt, she would only get stronger. And whenever she would fall down, she would just rise up and start chasing life again. That person was full of life. The kind that she could not have.

She was perfect, he was not. And Karma, like most people, prefer stability.

Nagisa could not even put up a fight. Because he knows, that it would only hurt all of them. So giving up, was his only choice left.

Karma was his light. Yet, Karma's light was far more brilliant than he could ever become. So, all he could ever do was sit right there, being invisible once again, just like in the beginning.

He loves him, but cannot be in love with him because he might just crumble down to pieces.

For now, he needs help in mending himself. He's too broken to open his heart. Because what Karma didn’t know, is that no matter how tough and strong he acted, he was still the same Nagisa he first met in middle school. The boring, gullible, weak, and lonely bluenet, who clung unto his abusive mother for acceptance.

If only alternate universes are true, maybe someone could enter, and revise his story of unrequited love. Because as of now, all he could ever do was pretend that the whole thing did not happen. That there was still just the two of them, Karma and Nagisa. That those memories had continued existing, because he's too stuck between the boundary, that she could not even pull himself from the bittersweet past which kept him from falling apart.

So, for now, that person was not there. That person did not exist. And that alternate universe had not formed itself. Yet.

That it was just him, the breeze, and the emptiness accompanying her. That he was there, silently watching. And he was there, once again, left alone.

And he still had not been seen.

—・—

SIGNED,
SweetPawn

I don't know what to do with my life anymore 😅. I kept saying this book was all about KarmaGisa, but I kept tormenting them.

#SorryNotSorry>:)