Hidden Desires

Year 11 2003-2004: Permission Slip

My form tutor, Mr Assan, was handing out a letter and was rumbling on about a Friday deadline. I was day dreaming out the window. I looked down at the paper in my hand and smiled. It was that time again. Residential. But mixed this time. Girls and boys! Exciting times ahead indeed. The couple of times I'd been to Residential, it'd been girls only. It was boring. Learning. Learning and more learning. The boys had gone on a different weekend. Boo! The only difference, was that it was in the middle of nowhere and in the woods. Like some proper horror movie type of shit! And we all know what happens to the black girl. Yup! She dies. And always the first one too! But this residential, however, I was proper excited for and looking forward to. Hopefully, mummy dearest would allow me to go.

My African mom was very strict. Despite being 15 years old and nearly 16, she still didn't allow me to have or go to any sleep overs. She also didn't allow me to have any friends over. Ever. Friend. Myah. She was my only true friend. My mum's answer would always be the same 'why? You have your own house. Your own bed.' She'd say it so often that I'd stop asking. Whenever someone was throwing a birthday party (and if invited) I'd make up an excuse, as I knew they'd be no way my mum would say yes. On return to school on Monday, I'd try and pretend that I wasn't listening to the conversation about so and so's wicked birthday party. But this was residential. It was learning. Preparations for our GCSE's exams. Yes, but they were going to be boys there too. Boys. A topic that we dared not to discuss or talk about at home.

Later that day, I asked my mum if I could use the house phone to call Myah.  Since it was past 7pm, I knew my mum would say yes, because of the free calls after 7pm BT offered their customers. Ring Ring! Ring Ring! Please pick up. Please pick up! I say out loud.
"Allo?" A deep voice with a strong french accent answered the phone. It was a man. Myah's dad.

"Bonsoir monsieur. C'est Sierra. Est-ce que je peux parler à Myah s'il vous plaît ?" I break out my perfect French.

"Ah bonsoir Sierra. Ça va? Oui, oui. Attend. J'lapelle." Myah's dad answered back.

A few seconds later, Myah's hyper voice rang through the receiver.

"Hey girl! What's up?" Myah said cheerfully.

"Girllllll did you get the form about residential? The boys are coming!" I blurted out excitingly.

"Yes girl. You must be super excited! Has your mom signed it yet?" Myah curiously asked.

"Nope. I hope she does though. This is gonna be so much fun. We can sneak into the boys' room!" I announced whilst giggling. We stayed on the phone for almost 2 hours, talking as if we hadn't spent most of the day together.

Friday came. Nothing. My mom hadn't signed the permission slip. Today was the deadline and my mom was stopping my dreams from happening.

"Miss Opong!" I heard my name being called out, heading out the technology block, making my way into the playground. I already knew who it was. Mr. Henry.

"Yes Mr. Henry?" I answered back fully aware of what he was going to say.

"Where's your permission slip for the residential trip?" Mr. Henry demanded with his hand extended.

"I don't think I can go sir. My mom hasn't signed it." I replied full of disappointment.

"Nonsense! Leave it to me. I'll call home and speak to your mum." And just like that Mr Henry had somehow convinced my mom to give a verbal permission and he promised he would waver the cost! I couldn't believe my ears. I was actually going! Now did Mr Henry, explain that boys would also be there? For a whole weekend? I didn't think so, but I certainly wasn't going to tell her. I laughed, shaking my head whilst scanning the crowd for Myah.