Feeling Faint (BxB)

Chapter 5

I get into Ben's car, trying to control my breathing. My head still hurts, even if it's not quite as bad as before.

Ben watches me. "Have you eaten or gotten anything to drink since I last saw you?" He questions. "Soup and a sandwich," I say. He frowns. "You should be drinking more." He tells me.

I shrug. "I'm serious." He says, pulling out of the driveway. He turns the opposite way of his house and the hospital, and I look at him confused. "Where are we going?" I ask. "I need more coffee." He mumbles.

I turn toward the window, trying to hide my smile. He's cute when he gets grumpy. He pulls up to the drive-through and orders, turning to me.

"Want anything?" He asks. I shake my head. "Suit yourself." He shrugs. I watch him, and it's then that I notice more details. There are dark circles under his eyes that I didn't notice before. In fact, this would be his second coffee today since he had one at breakfast. Which makes me wonder... how much sleep did he get? He was already awake when I woke up from my nightmare, even though he had said he was going to bed soon, plus I fell asleep first after that.

He looks over at me, catching me staring. "What?" He grumbles. "Just thinking," I say, copying the phrase he used yesterday. He shakes his head, trying not to smile as he leans out the window. His fingers run through his hair as he rests an arm on the door.

He pulls ahead and pays, getting his drink. I grimace as a small shot of pain rushes through me, but it disappears as quickly as it appeared. Ben hasn't noticed, as he's putting his drink in the cupholder.

He looks up at me, barely catching my expression. His facial features quickly shift from grumpy to worried. "Jay?" I wave a hand at him. "I'm fine. Let's go." He pulls out and we head toward his apartment, but I can feel his eyes on me. I stare out the window trying to avoid his concerned gaze. I'm startled when he opens the door, and I realize we've pulled up to his apartment.

"Are you alright?" He asks. I look him in those bright green eyes but end up quickly glancing away. "Uh yeah..." I say, clearing my throat. I climb out of the car and we walk inside. I catch him glancing at me through my peripheral vision, but I look away. If I look at those eyes I'll start staring again.

I plop onto his couch and lay down. He throws his keys on the counter and sits on the floor, leaning against the couch. "You could sit by me you know," I say. "Nah, it's floor time." He says. I smile, stifling a laugh.

He's drinking his coffee through a straw and he's decided to put his feet up on the coffee table, sitting him in a very strange position. I turn to him, suddenly struck with a thought.

"Where do you work?" He tries to blow a piece of hair out of his face, frowning when it settles in front of his eyes again. "Ben," I say, trying to keep my smile at bay. "Huh? Oh, there's this little bookstore down the street that one of my friends owns. He pays me pretty decently, so I help out there." I nod, lost in thought. He probably spends a lot of time with this other guy then. I stop myself. He's not even my boyfriend and here I am getting jealous.

I look over at him. He's distracted again, this time trying to get every little sip out of his coffee with the tiny little straw. He's such a dork; I can't help but grin. I'm tempted to just pull him in for a kiss, but then what?

If he's straight, he pushes me away, our friendship is ruined, and my heart gets shattered. It wouldn't be the first time that I read signals wrong, jumped to conclusions, and messed things up. At this point, it's better to let things be.

Ben looks at me, noticing how quiet I've gotten. "Do you want to start a movie? We can finish it after your appointment." I check my phone, realizing it's 4. "Alright." I agree. He gets up and throws his coffee cup away, then comes back and stops in the middle of the room.