Feeling Faint (BxB)

Chapter 31

Jay's P.O.V.

Everything has just become too much.

I'm tired of all the memories I can't escape, I don't know how to tell Alexa about my cancer, and really, above all, I don't want to die.

I suddenly realize I've been walking so fast that I've ended up at the park. I let my body collapse onto a bench, out of breath, and finally let loose the emotions I've been holding in.

There's no one around and the sky's turned cloudy and gray, like the looming shadow that's crept into my thoughts.

I'm gripping the edge of the bench tightly, trying not to completely panic, but I can still tell my hands are quivering.

I stare out into the gloomy street, suddenly thankful it's so empty so no one can witness my latest breakdown.

It's then that I see him. The streets might've turned foggy, but just after I make out the silhouette his features come into clarity and I recognize him.

My first instinct is to bolt, but my body's not listening to my screaming brain and I'm frozen in place.

Just like his dick of a brother, he's got dark brown hair and dark brown eyes. Falling for this guy in the first place is what spiraled my junior year down the toilet.

Actually, I'm sure it started by forming a friendship with him and thinking he wouldn't care that I was gay. Although developing a crush on him definitely didn't help.

I sink back onto the bench, hoping he doesn't notice me. Of course, as soon as I think this, his head turns and we lock eyes.

I shrink back further as he crosses the street, moving closer and closer until he's standing directly in front of me.

He raises a hand and I flinch, closing my eyes as I expect a blow to the face.

Gentle fingertips come to rest on my cheek, and I flinch again at the contact before my eyes shoot open in surprise to find Ben looking back at me instead.

My whole body is absolutely trembling and I can't push myself to form words, still in shock as I look around to find only the same empty streets and Ben's face looking back at me.

"Jay?" Ben questions, trying to draw my eyes to his instead of letting them rapidly shift around.

He sits next to me on the bench and I inhale a large shaky breath, still on edge.

My eyes are still bouncing around, looking anxiously for the face I just saw. He couldn't have just appeared and disappeared out of nowhere.

A hand touches my arm and I jump, looking over to still only find Ben. He quickly removes his hand as he realizes how startled I am, and instead puts his hands back in his lap.

"Sorry, I wasn't trying to scare you." He says, bright green eyes searching mine. He sighs. "Will you tell me what's going on with you?"

"I just-" My breath catches in the lump in my throat. I swallow heavily, nerves still at full height. "Did you see anybody else when you were coming over here? Guy of about 5 foot 9, brown hair, brown eyes?"

His brows wrinkle. "No, the streets are empty. The only person I saw was you."

I inhale shakily again, still looking around. "Right," I mumble, my gaze now shifting to my feet.

It's enough to have him reappear in my dreams. Now I'm hallucinating him in the day too?

I grip the edge of the bench tighter, even though the wood digs into my fingers already.