The Secret World of Maya Alexander

Chapter 39

The little house where Charlie lived was only a few miles from Riverside Drive, but further out towards the mountains, and with the nearest neighbour at least half a mile away, it was a position some might consider desolate. Maya, however, considered it a sanctuary. Charlie lived there with his two cats. He had a long-term girlfriend for a while but she did not want to leave the city, so in the end they decided that they were not going to last. Charlie had seemed lost for a little while afterwards but he never burdened Maya with his loneliness. He was just happy to be there when she needed him. That is probably what made Stephen so suspicious. What kind of man just wanted to be a woman's friend with no ulterior motive? Maya had once told Stephen about Charlie's sister, but Stephen had seemed unable to understand.

'But that was years ago. When he was just a kid. People don't harbour things like that forever Maya! You psychologists try to make a big deal out of everything!' Had been his dismissive and diminishing words.

Charlie genuinely just cared for Maya in the way rare but true friends did. Perhaps he did carry a torch for her, but he would never have troubled her with that fact, nor taken advantage of her vulnerabilities on the occasions that she would appear at his door in the middle of the night with tears in her eyes, but no words from her mouth. He would just make her a cup of tea and tell her it would all be okay. 

He knew from past experiences that she was too stubborn to admit that she needed to do anything differently, or that it might be possible that she could live a happier life. He always felt a little sad when she would awake on his sofa  (she refused to let him sleep on the sofa and give her his bed), ready to return to that which she had briefly vacated. She would apologise profusely for being foolish and silly and bothering him, and then disappear again for months at a time, except for the weekly text he would send her to ask how she was and to which she would usually reply with a reassuring word or two.

The only time things changed was when she had discovered she was pregnant. Unusually, Maya had text Charlie to ask if she could come over for a cup of tea one afternoon. She had arrived with a smile and twinkle of excitement that he had rarely seen upon her face. Mayahad wanted to tell Charlie in person that she was pregnant and that she was determined to settle down and be all the things that Stephen wanted her to be so that their child could be brought up in the loving home that he or she would need. She had reached for Charlie's hand as she told him he was her very best friend but that she would not be burdening him anymore with her 'twilight' visits (she said it with a jokey voice, as though twilight visits were like meeting up for a cake when you were on a diet).

Charlie had smiled at her ability to make humour from the tragedy of her life, but inside he had felt a devastating loss at the thought of the end of her midnight arrivals. He quickly recognised his selfishness, as he looked and saw that Maya's eyes were brighter than he had ever seen them. He had known that Stephen's reluctance to have a baby had been a strain in his best friend's marriage for a long time. She finally had something she had always dreamed of and Charlie was genuinely happy for her.

He hadn't heard from her for months. Until that night in June, when Maya had appeared unexpectedly at his door. She had arrived in a state he had not seen her in since the days when they were at university together, when she would stay up all night sobbing at how wretched she felt inside. Sobbing once more, she had thrown herself into Charlie's arms and told him that the baby was gone and that Stephen was glad. She had asked him to hold her. And he had found it too hard to say no.

As the door knocked once again that Autumn afternoon,  Charlie's thoughts returned to the last time they were together. Maya had left before he had woken. No profuse apology for being a burden, nor promises not to bother him again. She had barely responded to his texts at all over the last few months. He felt certain that somehow things had changed between them, and he blamed himself for not trying harder to be there for her.