The Secret World of Maya Alexander

Chapter 57

Christmas was tough for Stephen. He had maintained his refusal to visit the woman who his mother had reminded him several times was still legally his wife, who he had signed up to be bound to in sickness and in health. It was the first Christmas since meeting Maya that he was without her and he felt the absence of her festive spirit, with which she had always managed in the past to take the edge from some of his worries, at least for short bursts of time.

During their marriage they had managed to compromise on the degree of decoration in their home. Maya had been able to accept that too much clutter and tinsel would make Stephen itch and send his routines into overload, yet neatly and symmetrically laid out lights and paper chains and a perfect tree had become a welcome part of their family routine. In fact, it was one of the few activities they would undertake together. Stephen with his eye for symmetry and Maya with her love of bringing sparkle and light into the dark month of December. Of course, the fact that the tree was adjusted every evening at exactly 9pm to maintain its symmetry took some of the relaxed magic away. But it had just become part of them. Part of what Christmas was for them.

This year, Stephen had woken alone in the apartment he was renting. He had spent the few days before Christmas trying to clean away his latest expression of pent up emotions. When his mother visited him on Christmas Eve with a gift for under his tree, the rooms of his flat were once again spotless and all breakages had been replaced, which left only the absence of a tree and any decorations for June to remark upon. Stephen had not remembered to buy any gifts for his family or even write a card, as this was something Maya always used to take responsibility for.

June was prepared for this as she knew her own husband would not have a clue what to do at this time of year, if it was not for her ensuring everything was in place. All cards sent. Gifts selected, purchased and wrapped. House cleaned thoroughly before the same decorations came out of the attic and Paul did his only required job of setting up the external lights. Everything which required posting had been sent before the final Christmas post. Enough food to feed a large family for a month had been ordered and pre-prepared on Christmas Eve, when the table would also be set ready for Christmas dinner, as soon as June returned home from delivering her final gifts. And only then would she sit down and enjoy a glass of sherry.

An apology for not buying any presents had been enough for June this year, as she looked around her son's scarce apartment and asked where she should leave his gift. He had not had chance to process her words or reply, before she had already taken it upon herself to rearrange the positioning of a small lamp, beneath which she placed the neatly wrapped gift. She could not stop herself remarking, 'at least it lights up like a tree'. Stephen had tried to make light of the fact that at least he would not need to be hoovering pine needles every evening and watching the slow demise of the real tree, which Maya had always insisted on purchasing as soon as December arrived.

The real tree was a compromise that caused a disagreement every year, but it was the one thing Maya would not budge on. Stephen would never have the insight to recognise that Maya had always made more than her fair share of compromises to keep her husband happy, and so she would tell herself that having one thing for her once a year was not too much to ask. And although Stephen had told his mother how glad he was, to not have the burden of a real tree in his life, he had secretly felt the absence of his evening ritual of hoovering pine needles and adjusting the lights and ornaments. The tree's slow demise had somehow become a soothing countdown to Christmas and its absence left a foreboding feeling, which Stephen tried hard to keep below the surface.

Even June sensed that she should approach the subject of visiting Maya delicately. She had commented how Maya always seemed to make a special effort at Christmas and did he think he would like to visit her on Christmas Day... So she was not alone? She had offered to take him. Rather than snap at his mother's attempt to influence him with what she believed was right, he remained quite flat and emotionless, as he told her that Maya had her mother and sister so was not alone and that he had no intention to visit Maya on Christmas day or any other day.