Plutonian

Chapter 43

"Hope you're more comfortable here," Lucian's gaze is fixated on me as we lie down on his bed, facing each other. The moment he was notified that I had regained consciousness he had rushed to the medical center and had me transferred back to his place. There is even a medical team on stand by downstairs should anything happen to me.

My body feels like a rusty machine, every joint I move crackles to life, as if being used for the first time in years. I sink my hands into the soft sheets that I've grown so used to and smile at him. It's not just the plush pillows and soft satin-like material that soothe me but his presence too is oddly calming.

"I'm glad you're okay," I whisper and my gaze falters in guilt when I take in the dark circles under his pale eyes and the blood-red marks on his arm. He's been having nightmares again.

He notices my eyes on his skin and slowly shifts around till it is out of my view.

"Don't worry about me, Aria. You were the one who was out cold for a month. Nobody knew if you would ever wake up." His face falls in sadness and then he looks up at me, his eyes weary and vulnerable. "Did you not want to wake up?"

The sheets swish around me as I tuck my hands under my cheek and look down. 

"It doesn't feel like I slept for a month. In fact all I had was a single dream. It was just one night," I say. "You've been having nightmares again?"

The pink in Lucian's cheeks contrast greatly with the paleness of his skin and he looks down in embarrassment. 

"Tell me about them. I don't think I'll be able to fight you off tonight, please."

"They were more or less the same recurring dreams but I don't think I will have them again."

"Why is that?" I ask in curiosity.

"Because in my dream you didn't wake up but in reality you did," He says in a voice thick with emotion which stuns me. I know he needs me to help him with his nightmares and all but I didn't think he would be this affected if I died.

"You had nightmares about me?" I can't help but gasp.

Lucian turns to lie on his back and stares at the blanket of stars and planets floating above us. "I felt guilty, Aria. Guilty for leaving you alone during your match and at the mercy of Lazarus. I fell right into his trap and went on a simple mission that could have been done by anyone else. If I was there, I could have stopped it. He had no authority to do that."

"If you had died," He pauses suddenly and swallows hard. "I don't think I would ever forgive myself."

Once again his words stun me and I frown at him wondering if I will ever be able to figure him out. Sometimes he seems more human that the fighters like Leslie and Christina, the other times he's the calculating, emotionless Plutonian Trinity. 

He isn't as Plutonian as the officers who threw me off the cliff like it was nothing or Lazarus who doesn't think twice about hurting or killing someone. Every Plutonian I've come across has had that distinct emotionless trait towards humans which make them cold and lethal but not him. He really is the biggest enigma I've come across on this planet.

Lucian feels guilt. He has nightmares about all the creatures he has executed. He cares about whether I live or die even though I am just a human. Why is he so different?

"What about you?" His voice pulls me out of my thoughts.

"What about me?" 

"What was that dream about. The one you said you had?" He turns around and faces me again.

After a long pause of hesitation I finally give in and tell him about my painful memory and the way I was thrown of the cliff into the icy chasm as punishment only to be pulled back up alive.

Lucian stares at me in wonder and there is no mistaking the awe in his face when I finish telling him everything.

"Can I see it?" He suddenly asks and my eyes widen in shock.

"Lucian, I don't think it's a good idea. It's really ugly," I say, feeling insecure about the patched up artificial skin that makes me look like a monster. 

"I highly doubt that and it's not like I haven't seen it before. You showed almost all of it to everyone at the Introductory ball, remember?" Lucian says adamantly.

"Yes, but it wasn't by choice. I hated every second of prancing around that stage like a piece of meat to be auctioned off to the highest bidder." My lips form a tight line as I remember that moment and how angry it made me feel.

"Oh, I didn't know about that," Lucian answers cautiously. "You don't have to show me anything  you don't want to."

"Don't take this the wrong way, I only want to help you the way you've helped me. A scar is just a scar but if you carry it around like a burden then it will always weigh you down." 

I look into his pale blue eyes only to be met with nothing but sincerity and yet I'm struck with a deep fear that he will think I am a hideous creature once he sees it. 

"If it makes you feel any better. I have plenty of them. Look." Lucian sits up and pulls his shirt over his head. My cheeks burn as I take in his toned chest and stomach. Yes, there are multiple scars scattered over his front and a particularly big one right above his heart but somehow he still looks beautiful.

His pale skin is like a white canvas and the scars are just minute splotches that do nothing to distract me away from the painting that is him. 

But can I ever accept that flawed part of myself?

I want nothing more than to hide under the covers and disappear from the masterpiece that is staring at me earnestly. But his gaze is so hopeful it makes me hesitate.

After a few seconds of deep contemplation I finally sit up and then turn around so that my back is facing him. I feel his fingers tug the bottom of shirt and then slowly pull it up exposing my skin.

I bite my lip hard and brace myself for his mocking laughter, a frightened gasp or for Lucian to cover it again quickly so that he wouldn't have to see my horrible scar for another second. 

"Can I touch it?" 

His question startles me and I jump slightly. I didn't expect that reaction at all. I slowly nod my head and then I feel the softness of his fingers as they glide over my back leaving a trail of fire in their wake. His touch invokes a foreign spike of desire deep in the pits of my stomach and suddenly I don't want him to stop. 

"It really is beautiful, Aria. I wish you could see what I see. I don't just see patched up skin, I see a girl who survived." 

Something within me shatters, the walls crumble and the dam bursts filling my eyes with tears. There is a loud strangled cry that erupts around us and I realize it has come from me. I cry out all the pent up emotions I didn't even realize I had. The memory of the chasm, Stela's betrayal, Cassandra's bruises, Lucian's sincerity, surviving my last match against Rosie. 

His words are so potent, they make me cry till my chest hurts. He's right. I did survive and I'm here right now because of it.

I don't realize that I've sunk back against Lucian's bare chest until his strong arms wrap around me like a sweet caress. He hugs me tightly as I pour my heart out into my cries.

"You did it, Aria. The nomination has been carried out. You're part of the army now and you'll be inducted as soon as you're feeling better," He says and the reality of his words hit me like a ton of bricks. I did it. I can't believe I actually did it and now I was one step closer to what I really wanted. 

To escape.

I lean my head back against Lucian's chest and the truth he has forgotten to mention becomes so glaring, I simply can't ignore it. 

"No, Lucian. We did it."

Awww what a sweet team they make. This chapter really had me in the feels haha. Anyway how did you find it? What was your favorite part?

Okay, so this story as two parts and this is officially the end of part one. The second part will start in the next chapter. As you know Aria has just joined the army and she still as a long way to go if she wants to escape and also there's Lucian. Be ready for new characters, nasty people, betrayals, adventures and so much more :) :)