treacherous | dallas winston

chapter 21

DELILAH VALANCE

i woke up in soda and pony's bed, laughter faintly ringing in and out of my ears from the kitchen. i looked down and ran my fingers along the ties on pony's track shorts, wrapping tightly around my figure. i got up and sighed, yet again running a hand through my hair. god, i needed a shower.

after taking a quick shower, i dressed in pony's clothes and walked into the living room, plopping down onto the couch next to soda. he wrapped an arm around me and i broke down into tears again, just wanting everything to stop. i was glad soda was there, sometimes you just need your bestfriend.

but the truth is, i want dallas. i need him. i need him to keep me grounded, to keep me safe. i was terrified of the fact that i could lose him someday because of his actions. dallas was a wildcard, his emotions were a wreck. there was no holding him down.

"you have to talk to him, ya know." soda whispered into my ear. i didn't get the same feeling i do when dal whispers in my ear, it just wasn't the same. i nodded slowly and stood up from out of his grasp, and flipped my wet hair over my shoulders. just in time, dallas rushed out from the kitchen with darry and pony and walked up to me. dallas shakily reached out to me, gently placing a folded piece of lined paper in my hand.

"i won't ask you to do anything else for me, but can you just read this?" he looked down at me and i looked into his eyes, making me melt. nodding, i turned and walked out onto the porch, sitting on the small bench. the boys watched me through the window as i unfolded the paper, taking a deep breathe before starting to read it.

delilah,

i'm not one for sappy shit. and you know that. i'm only doing this because i can't seem to say it to your face, no matter how many times i've tried. i choke up. you have that effect on me. i'm only doing this because i really love you. i know my handwriting and grammar or whatever isn't that good, but i had pony help me with that just as much as possible. but just know, these are all my thoughts. i'm dying without you, del. i'm dying. i'm such a bitch, i should have never ever brought sylvia over. if we're being truthful, i was gonna break up with you. i wanted to fix my reputation, and dating sylvia was the only way to fix that. i'm so stupid, baby. you're driving me crazy, everything about you. it's really paining me to write this or whatever because i know i might not be able to have you back. that's one of my favorite things about you, how stubborn you are. i love the way fire dances in your eyes when you get angry, i love the way your smile can brighten up a room. i love the way your eyes brighten up when i call you beautiful. and i mean it 100%. you're the most beautiful broad i've ever seen man. sylvia is a piece of dirt compared to you. when cherry called me and i saw you on the floor i didn't know what to feel. i was terrified, and i don't get scared doll. it's just not me. i was terrified, though. i thought i was gonna lose you. it hurt me seeing you in the hospital, your bubbly attitude was just dull. and i didn't know what to feel. and when you told me about what your ex did to you.. i was fucking furious. next time i see that bastard i'm gonna kill, both for what he did to you and for what he did to johnny man. and don't worry, as much as i know you would have liked to do it the gang gave me a real good beating, and i'm glad they did. i deserved every single fucking second of it. i don't deserve you, i really don't. but i need you so badly. i need to hold you, i don't feel alright. nothing feels okay without you, doll. it's messing me up. darry knocked some sense into me, told me i'm a coward. he's right. i was a coward for trying to hide my feelings and fix my reputation when i should have gave all of my feelings to you. i'm done hiding from you, man. i want you to have all of me and i want all of you. and no, i don't mean sex. (although that would be amazing.) you're the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me, please just talk to me.

- D.W. ps, sorry for that sap show. i love you.

i stared at the messing handwriting for a few more moments before bursting out into painful sobs. i dropped the note and threw a hand over my mouth and stomach, i felt pain everywhere. mental and physical pain. i tried silencing my sobs, but i looked over at the window and knew it was no use. the whole gang was staring at me anyways. i picked up the note, shoving it into the pockets of pony's shorts. roughly pushing open the door, i ran and jumped into dally's arms, not ever wanting to let go again.