Family is not only blood

Keep me part 1

Ezra jerked awake on his bed, sweat was running down his face. He could feel his heart bagging on his chest as he breathed heavily, echoes of his nightmare still fresh on his mind.

It was the third night in a row that nightmares disturbed his sleep. That was to be expected, he guessed, since it's only been four days since his encounter with the two new inquisitors.

Except for a few comments here and there, their little 'adventure' on the abandoned Republic medical station was never brought up. Not a single comment. Ezra wasn't sure if Kanan talked to Ashoka. He probably did though, if Ahsoka's now frequent visits were any indication.

Which was another thing that was making him loose sleep. Not from fear but anxiety. The stress of the whole situation still hadn't quieted down, if you add the nightmares and everyone's avoidance of the subject, it made Ezra much less focused on what he was doing.

It hasn't been something too serious, just forgetting a couple of briefings (to Kanan's amusement and Hera's dismay). He forgot to pick a couple of things up in yesterday's supply run, which led Zeb going again after him. What really bothered Ezra was how this lack of concentration, this panic always present on everything he was doing had impacted his Jedi training.

At first Kanan didn't comment on it. Then he lectured him like he always did. It was nothing new, it was part of the routine, part of the training. Then why did he feel so panicked and afraid? What happened yesterday though, really got to him.

Flashback

He was in complete darkness, almost, the small control room on the medical station was only illuminated by a red light, radiating off the deadly blade of the inquisitors light saber.

"Ezra"

There was so much pain. The inquisitor had an iron grip on his mind. Ezra was barely keeping her out, raising shield just in time just for her to tore the down again.

"Ezra?"

It was so hard to keep her out, to hold her back. As hard as it may be, as exhausted as he was, he wouldn't let her infect his mind, his memories with her darkness. Tears started to form in his eyes as he-

"Ezra!"

Ezra gasped as he took in his surroundings. He wasn't on the station, he was on the rebel base on Garel, outside the Ghost with a worried looking Kanan standing over him.

"Ezra what-" Kanan didn't complete as he knelt down to place a hand on the kid's shoulder. Ezra wondered why he looked so worried. He had lost focus, he messed up training, he...he was crying.

It took Ezra a moment to realize but less than a second to react. He wiped his tears away almost aggressively as he turned his back on Kanan. Kanan took back his hand.

"This is wrong, this is all wrong" Ezra heard Kanan mutter more to himself than to Ezra. Actually Ezra doubted if Kanan even intended to say it out loud. He looked back at Ezra as he stood up.

"Lesson's over, go wash up" He said as he started walking back to the Ghost. Having his back on Ezra, Kanan didn't notice him shedding one last tear, not from fear this time.

End of flashback

Ezra didn't see Kanan the rest of the day. Hera told him he went to speak with Ahsoka. That upsetted him. Ezra liked Ahsoka but with her constant visits and long talks with Kanan combined with Ezra's failure on the last couple lessons, Ezra couldn't help the thoughts that occurred to him. Was Kanan going to dump him on Ahsoka?

The nightmare was now long forgotten on the depths of his consciousness. Now it was replaced by something else, something worse. Desperation.

Ezra kept twisting and turning on his bed. He didn't seem able to get comfortable and it wasn't his bed that caused this discomfort. He felt like he was loosing it. It was as if he were walking on broken glass, miles and miles of it. And with every wrong step the glass cracked, threatening to crumble under his feet and let him fall in an endless abyss of darkness.

He didn't manage to even close his eyes the rest of the night. The morning, the lights turned on, signalling it was time for breakfast.

Zeb stretched as he sat up and walked out of bed yawning, leaving Ezra behind. Ezra sat up but didn't climb down. He just sat there his legs hanging on the edge of the bed.

His Jedi training would start after breakfast and he had to be flawless. He would do everything perfect and Kanan would keep him. Right?

Images of Kanan kicking him out of the ship, dumping him on Ahsoka, who would take him away and he would never see Kanan or the others ever again.

He wouldn't let that happen. He jumped off the bed and walked down the hall. He entered the kitchen and the others (minus Kanan) turned to look at him.

"Hey, where have you been?" Sabine asked while sketching on some pieces of paper.

"What do you mean?" Ezra asked

"It's been almost an hour since breakfast was served kid" Zeb said, leaned on his chair and eyes closed.

"It's okay" Hera said "I can warm yours up"

Ezra nodded and sat on the table rubbing his eyes, tiredness mixed with hunger made him dizzy. He steadied his head on his hands as he waited for his breakfast.

"Hey where's Kan-"

The door opened and Kanan walked in and behind him, Ahsoka. Ezra froze as he saw them.

"Time for training, did you eat?"

Ezra got up quickly, too quickly and his vision got black for a moment. He nodded nonetheless, gaining a stare from Hera.

Kanan looked satisfied with his answer and walked away, Ahsoka behind him. He stopped at the door and turned back to look at him.

"I invited Ahsoka to supervise today's training session. You don't mind, do you?"

"I-no, no, no, no, of course I don't mind" Ezra smiled at Ahsoka and she smiled back at him in return and nodded her head as she followed Kanan out.

He gulped as he took a step forward and stop when a hand landed on his shoulder. Ezra didn't have to turn around to know it was Hera.

"You didn't eat. Why did you lie at Kanan"

"Hera I'm fine

She opened her mouth to protest but Kanan's voice echoed through the walls of the ship.

"Ezra, you coming!"

"Yeah"

Ezra yelled back, shook Hera off and ran outside. No matter what, he would do everything perfect today.

That...took longer than I had anticipated. Thank you Harrichristy123456 for the suggestion. There will be a part two soon. Schools have opened here in Greece and everything is chaos. Yep. May the force be with you.