Decisions

May Blues

I slept the whole day away 

I wasn't even tired 

Stomach pain

Chest tighter than the way we hold hands

I've been told that I should try my best to be there for you

I'm still trying to figure out how

As sweet as sugar but nowadays the sugar bowl is empty

Smile bluer than an empty sky

Your once fiery eyes now only resemble ashes

Drinking habits that remind me that self-harm isn't always with a razor 

Sometimes you'll vent to me and I feel useful 

Other days you push me so far away that I doubt we'll ever be close again 

I'm afraid that if I give you space, you'll float off into the universe, never to be found 

Or you'll do something drastic and my heart will be stained with guilt

I know you have depression 

I know I can't simply "fix" you

But I would give anything to take your pain away