Memories || Hongjoong / ATEEZ

1

When was the last time you were happy?

Seonghwa asked, looking at him straight in the eyes. Hongjoong shuffled in his seat, averting his eyes to look at the fidgeting fingers on his lap.

It's a simple question. However, Hongjoong felt as if it burdened him. He couldn't even look at Seonghwa as he lies through his teeth.

I'm always happy.

That was the first mistake. Hongjoong should have opened up to them, told them of how unhappy he really is. He could have felt their warmth embrace while he still had a chance. Make them understand that he trusts them to keep all his tears.

It was times like this that Hongjoong could really feel the emptiness of what he once called home. A bitter smile stretches on his face as he remembers the memories that bloomed right before him.

He wishes that it was all a lie. That everything is all a sick joke that the company played. That all is just some plan to trick their leader.

Sadly, it isn't.

He sighed, dragging his feet towards the empty couch. He could feel his heart breaking every slowly, as if it's being ripped apart to pieces.

"Hongjoong. Come on, you can't keep doing this." Seonghwa pleaded, dragging the stubborn leader out of the studio.

"I still need to add a few more touches and I'll be done." Hongjoong struggled at the tight grip of an arm wrapped around his waist.

"Can't it be done tomorrow? You need sleep, badly. Everyone is worried about you. I'm worried about you." Hongjoong gave up and instead turned on Seonghwa's arms to bury his face on the older's chest.

Seonghwa sighed, running his fingers through Hongjoong's black hair.

"What would you do without me?"

Hongjoong let a tear slip out of his eyes, chuckling sadly to his pathetic excuse back then.

He couldn't even remember the last time that he didn't sleep. He wished he could have taken Seonghwa's advice back then, and spent more time taking care of himself. He wouldn't admit it but he wishes that Seonghwa would still visit his studio late at night and drag his ass back to the dorm where everyone is waiting for him.

Yet, fate really pulled a cruel trick on him.

"Hyung! Loosen up a bit! You need to experience a little fun in life." Yunho took Hongjoong's hands and pulled him up from the floor.

"Yunho, it's break time. I want to rest." Hongjoonh whined, trying to stray away from the chaos happening by the middle. As usual, it consists of Wooyoung, San , Mingi and Yunho. Yeosang — at some point — is even encouraging them to do all this dumb things that Hongjoong wouldn't even think about doing.

"But-" Yunho pouted when Hongjoong gave him his last warning gaze, "Fine... I'm going to stay with you then!" He smiled brightly at Hongjoong, the leader sighed. There is no point at stopping their energizer, as always. He wanted everyone to cheer up in the midst of the chaos.

"Okay."

He wiped the tears that kept falling down his eyes, before he grabbed a pillow and buried his face on it.

He could have joined the members' fun when he still had a chance. He could have seen their beaming faces for one last time as they do stupid things together. He should have let himself get dragged by Yunho and get in the middle of whatever was happening then get himseld to loosen up so that they won't worry.