For Ever

five

dear ever,

after that video fiasco, i've been avoiding you like the plague. i haven't been going to the library since then. my daily routine would be to go school then back to the dorm. nothing more and nothing less, unless the occasional times i had to go grocery shopping. that's where you found me, after two weeks of hiding. do you remember?

"I'm having my period next week, fuck. No sex for me," Bree said as she took two packs of pads from the shelves.

"You could always have sex while bleeding," I suggested and she laughed with me.

"I hate you, you know that? That was the worst sex I ever had. I can't believe he was down though. I think I found my soulmate, Tanisha. Someone who's willing to have sex with me even though I was having my period," she rambled on and I rolled my eyes.

"I thought it was the worst sex ever, why are you even debating that he's your soulmate?" I took our cart and started going to the next aisle to get some instant noodles.

"Kalix and I had good sex, okay. Mind blowing sex, that was the only time it felt bad because I was overthinking things. What if it smelled? Is he sure that he wants to put his penis in my bloody vag-," I cut her off by clearing my throat and then gesturing that their are kids at the back. She cursed and then bit her lip.

"Moving on, I can't believe that I survived midterms," I said while looking at what milk to buy for my cereal.

"You should thank Ever, you know. His notes were better than Sir Adam's handout. Ever is a better teacher than our teacher, I could say that since I actually understood Chemistry because of his notes," I was about to argue that I did say thanks to Ever but she continued, "and No, leaving him that tiny post it note that says 'thanks' with his Chemistry notes at the council office, does not count. Stop avoiding, Ever. Say thank you in real life, Tanisha," she lectured.

"You fantasizing my non-existent love life with Ever is getting way out of hand. What do you want me to do, kneel and say thanks to him? I admit it, it helped but I never asked for it so I'm not indebted to him to show him that much appreciation. He might think that I'm interested in him," Bree smacked my arm and growled from frustration.

"Tanisha, you are interested in him. What's wrong with letting him know?" she practically yelled letting the whole grocery store know. I covered her mouth immediately before she can say other things.

"What do you want me to do? Go up to him and say oh my god Ever! Thank you for noticing a nobody like me even though you're one of the most popular guy in our college, heck even in the whole university! Date me!" I exaggerated with my fake fangirling voice. Bree looked dumbfounded and shocked.

"Bree, I would do that if I was still interested. I'm not anymore, so I don't get why you're so hellbent in wanting Ever and I to date, we don't like each other," I continued. Bree still looks like she just saw a ghost. "Bree, why aren't you saying anything?" I asked and she pointed at someone behind me. That's when I realized that you were there, Ever. You were there with Gear and Kalix listening to our conversation.

"So you did like me?" you asked happily. Ever, I don't understand you. You just heard me say that I liked you, as in past tense. Meaning I didn't like you anymore but why were you so happy?

"Yes she did," Bree answered for me because I have just been staring at you not doing anything for the last two minutes.

"But I don't now," I intervened before you get the wrong impression or before Bree says anything more.

"But you did," you said with that goofy smile of yours, "and there's a possibility you'd like me again," you continued.

"No, you blew it," I said then I pushed my cart and I walked away.

"I didn't know how I blew it Tanisha but please give me another chance," you said as you were walking behind me. "Please."

"Tanisha, another chance, please. I beg you." That  was the first time you begged me to change my mind, Ever. I don't know why you were like that because to be honest there's nothing really special about me. I have mediocre grades, I'm not that pretty nor do I have a good figure, I'm rude and stubborn. I'm average, so why does a labelled perfect guy like you, want me? I didn't understand.

"Ever, I can't force myself to like you. I just don't anymore," I replied, stopping my tracks and then facing him.

"One date, a whole day. Twenty-fours. Let me change your mind," you begged one last time.

"If you can't?" I asked.

"If I can't change your mind, I won't bother you anymore," you said with a stern look on your face. You held your pinky up towards me and said, "I promise and I never break a promise."

"Okay," I replied, interlocking my pinky with yours. "Make sure you'll keep your promise, Ever."

"See you on Saturday, eight in the morning. I'll pick you up." You offered me a hug, Ever. But I only ignored you and started walking away.