Okay, I'm Okay. [JJK]

o9

The Story of The Lover: PART IX

I am not okay.

I am a paranoid.

I made a small thing a big deal that I ended up asking you about it through chat, and for the worst part, you apologized. I just made you apologize because you didn't recognize me at the waiting shed.

Oh my lord. I hate myself.

@kimhyunji
omg why,
im just kidding

@kimhyunji
you're so quick
to apologize

@kimhyunji
dont apologize like
that ever again

@jeon_gguk
so are we on
good terms now?

@kimhyunji
were we on
bad terms tho?

@jeon_gguk
this is why i like you

I just choke on my own breath after I read that. You meant that as friend, right? Right?

Then the chat goes on, filled with jokes as we got to know more about each other. I guessed you really meant that as a friend. Not that I'm complaining though, I'm just Kim Hyunji, and you're Jeon Jeongguk.

And time flies really fast.

As the days went by like a wind, my longing for you got stronger. And I hate it. I hate it to the bones that I might lose you once you finally discover my huge crush on you. You might walk away from me once you feel extremely uncomfortable about it. I don't want to lose you even if you're just a friend.

And I don't know what I hate the most. Is it the fact that I can't confess to you, or you being just a friend?

I hate it.

But how can I get rid of these feelings when you're holding onto my hand, literally.

"What do you like? My treat." You asked, eyes smiling at me, as we reached the counter. You kept my hand firm inside of your grasp like it's a normal thing to do.

I couldn't open my mouth to speak, I was mute. I still couldn't understand why I am here holding your hand after school. Why are you treating me like this? Am I just imagining all of these?

Should I be happy about it or be scared?

"Ji?" You softly called my nickname, snapping me out of my zone.

I flashed a shy smile. "You don't really have to."

"I insist." You tightened your grip on my hand, letting me feel how insistent you are.

"Fine." I sighed in defeat but couldn't hide the smile in my eyes. "I haven't tried to eat here before, I'll just take what you like."

And thereupon, with still holding hands, you talk to the counter attendant with a huge grin on your face. Are you that happy for being able to buy me a meal?

I looked away, trying to hide the redness of my cheeks. It was burning up and hard to cool down, until I saw a familiar group of people sitting at one corner.

It was Ara and her friends.

And for the first time in forever, I was able to see the said beautiful girl rolling her eyes.

And she seemed rolling it at me.

And for another first time in forever, I didn't received a text from you later at night.

I am not okay.