Okay, I'm Okay. [JJK]

22

The Story of The Crush: PART VII

Okay, I'm okay.

I love myself.

Sometimes I wake up grinning to myself when I realized I've been living a life that other men once dreamed of.

The whole school portrays me as this charming soccer player who is always on top of his class and has an army of girls swooning after him. If I were put inside a highschool drama, then I'm the one who plays the role of a school heartthrob, and with one wink, boys and girls will faint or wet their pants.

But nah, it won't always work that way. Ara made me realized that.

With all the girls that have been following me around, I only had two girlfriends before we dated. I'm a choosy guy, per se, I don't just simply date someone. They have to match my looks, or have a significant talent at least.

In those past two relationships, I'm the one who broke the ties because I got too busy in school to continue dating the first one, while I got bored of the second one. None of it affected me. I have studies to work on, soccer practices to attend to, and lots of other stuffs to attract me from breakups, and I'm the one who ended it after all. Hence, breakups never got to me at all, until I met Ara.

I've always known her since our first year. She's as 'famous' as me, I should say. She's a part of this one club where she does theatrical play. She's really good at acting and has a great voice. And have I already mentioned that she's beautiful? I've had my eyes on her since the day I watched her perform in a school event, and then I asked her out during our last junior highschool recognition.

And asking her out right before the summer starts is a very bad idea.

We part ways during vacation. She went to their province, and I went to mine. We got to experience long-distance relationship when our relationship barely started. But I still enjoyed it, I think, maybe that's why it's really surprising to receive such text, in the middle of dinner.

Message from: Oh Ara <3
I'm breaking up with you.
Seen.

I choked on my drink of course for I couldn't recall what I did wrong. I even sang her a song on the night before. It hurts my pride. How can a girl break up with me like that? How can a girl break up with a Jeon Jeongguk like that? She doesn't even bother to explain and answer my phonecalls.

Hence I came up with a plan. I want to make her realize who she's about to lose, what we would have been in school if we continued dating. I want her to beg for me to date her again.

That's my original plan.

That's why I came to you.

But why can't I imagine myself doing sweet things with her anymore, but only with you?

Have I—fallen—. . . no!

I know I have to arrive to the conclusion before it gets worse, and for that reason, I held your hand and pulled you out after school. I'm treating you early dinner. Ara should be there of course. I overheard her and her friends that they're going to have a meal in this one specific resto, so I want us to eat there as well.

And now we are sitting one table away from them.

"It's been so long since I ate in a place like this, I'm broke you know."

Your eyes glistened as you giggled. I can't help but smile at the sight of you happily eating the one I got you. The food wasn't that expensive, just in fair price for me. I grew up from a well-off family, but my parents are very frugal when it comes to money. They always give me a small amount of allowance. Thus I can call myself a broke highschool student too, and maybe I was smiling because I can relate to you.

"Thank you, Guk." You smiled again and I'm in awe.

Wait.

I'm—I'm in awe?

The original purpose of dragging you here is for me to confirm and sort out my feelings. I should be comparing you and Ara by now, but my eyes won't even look away from you for a mere second. I am dazed.

My heart is pounding in a very unusual way when all you did in front of me was to munch. I even forgot about Oh Ara's presence.

"Guk, are you okay?" You paused from eating, looking at me worriedly. "You're not eating."

"Ah. Y-yeah." I snapped back to reality, finally being able to avert my gaze from you to my plate. "I'm—I'm just remembering something—equations from Physics." I don't know what I'm saying. I don't even have a Science class that day.

Have I actually fallen for you, Kim Hyunji?

Okay, I'm okay.