Bloody Hands || E. Wiggin

012

Status: Edited

"So you finally did it. You'll have Ender right where you want him now."

"Oh, don't I know it."

"Do you remember when you used to say that keeping them apart would be the push that he needed to succeed? Looking back on that, it makes me wonder whether you really know these kids as well as you claim, Graff."

"I wouldn't push your luck right now."

"Lighten up a little, I'm only teasing."

"You know, Anderson, this job makes me question everything we stand for sometimes. I only hope he'll be ready for Command School soon."

"So it's true then? The fleet's almost made it?"

"They're saying a few more months and they'll be there."

"Lord, have mercy on us all."

. . .

When practice was over, Ender let everyone head off to the showers to get ready for breakfast. As the others departed, I remained behind to talk to Ender, but instead I found that he had stayed in the battle room to give some of the newer boys some extra practice. Deciding I could wait a bit longer, I noticed that I wasn't the only one trying to catch Ender before he left.

Watching from the gate stood Bean. I greeted him with a nod before leaning my body against the opposite wall.

When Ender finally finished, he passed through the gate to find both Bean and I still waiting for him. Bean was the first to approach him. "Ender," he addressed.

Ender stared at Bean, eyes narrowing. "Ender, sir," he said.

Bean scowled. "I know what you are doing Ender, sir, and I am warning you. I can be the best man you've got or I can be the worst."

It was Ender's turn to scowl, expression icy. "So what do you want then? Hugs and kisses?"

Bean straightened, meeting Ender's gaze dead on. "I want a toon."

I grimaced as Ender let out a harsh laugh of disbelief. "And why should you get a toon?"

"Because I'd know what to do with it," Bean responded, cooly.

"I'm not just going to give you a toon, Bean," Ender said, crossing his arms sternly over his chest. "You have to prove to me that you deserve one."

Ender walked off down the corridor, leaving Bean without allowing him a chance for a retort. Pushing myself off the wall, I quickly follow him shooting Bean a pitying look.

I trailed Ender down the corridor as he made his way to his new private quarters. He seemed oddly upset after his conversation with Bean, which made me hesitant to catch up with him. I wanted to know what was wrong, but at the same time it looked like he needed space.

Without seeming to notice me, he entered his quarters and was gone, the door sliding securely shut behind him. I stood outside his door for a full two minutes once he'd disappeared, debating whether I should knock.

I was suddenly broken out of my thoughts as Ender's voice sounded from inside the room, slightly muffled due to the metal door separating us. "Lara," he called.

Without a second thought, I hurried inside, and the sight before me was enough to make my heart break. Ender was sitting on his bed shaking as tears ran down his cheeks. Shocked by the sight of him in such a state, a wild concern pulsed through me. I quickly crossed the room and sat down next to him, pulling him into a tight hug. He accepted the embrace, burying his head into my shoulder as I rubbed his back soothingly.

Only after he had stopped shaking did he speak, hesitant to pull away. "Why did I go straight for Bean?" he sobbed against me.

For a moment, I stopped tracing patterns across his back as my heart stopped. "What are you talking about, Ender?"

"He was the smallest and possibly the brightest." He gulped and took a shaky breath, at last looking up to meet my gaze, his eyes blood shot and glassy from crying. "Why did I go for him first? I'm turning into Bonzo." Another sob racked his body. "Lara, what if I'm turning into Peter?"

Although I didn't know who Peter was, my heart still pulled painfully. "It's okay," I whispered as I pulled him back into the hug. "You're nothing like Bonzo. Bean is strong. He'll be okay." My hands resumed their circular pattern over his back.

Ender didn't respond, but I felt him relax against me. We remained like that in silence, long after breakfast had started, yet all I could focus on was how terrified I was of what Battle School was doing to him.