Bloody Hands || E. Wiggin

002

Status: Edited

"The monitors out. I wasn't sure you were going to go through with it."

"Talent like that isn't something we can waste right now."

"Do you ever wonder if we're doing the right thing with these kids, Graff? Taking them away from their homes, their childhoods?"

"If that's something you want to discuss with the higher ups, be my guest. But you know just as well as I do that these two are the best we've got against those buggers since Mazer Rackham."

"Even still. It never quite sits right with me."

"I'm surprised, Anderson. Getting attached to the Launchies already?"

"You can't blame me when we're the ones who are taking them away from their lives."

"Let's pretend for a moment, that perhaps with these two, we're starting them."

"Don't make me laugh."

​​~~~

By the time I got home that afternoon, my family had already heard from the school about my monitor.

"Don't worry about it sweetie," my mom soothed gently as I discarded my shoes by the front door. "We're still so proud of you."

I shrugged past her, but my brother was waiting just down the hall. "You know, I always thought you were a failure." Daniel couldn't contain his smirk. "But now they've made it official."

I did my best to ignore the dig, attempting to slide past him like I'd done my mother, but he caught my elbow and jerked me closer to his lanky form. His breath was against my ear as his voice dropped to a whisper, words biting. "I hope you enjoyed being special while it lasted, sis."

Anger boiled beneath my skin and tears pricked the corners of my eyes enough to make my vision blur. But I kept my mouth shut, waiting stiffly for his grip to loosen. I won't give him what he wants. He doesn't get the satisfaction of seeing me cry.

When at last he released me, I was quick to step away down the remainder of the hall, careful to keep my expression neutral.

"Don't worry!" Daniel called after me. I could hear his manic glee as I hurried to fling open the door to my room. "I'll make sure mother and father aren't disappointed enough to request a third!"

I leaned my head wearily against the door, hearing the satisfying click of it sealing shut. My heart beat loudly in my ears as I took shaky breaths to steady it.

He's just jealous. And maybe that was true. But if it was, Daniel had been jealous for a long time. Losing the monitor now was hardly a justification.

With a heavy sigh, I let my body collapse into bed, finding a fleeting comfort in the way the sheets embraced me. But the feeling slipped away as quiet voices seeped under the door from the room over.

"I thought she could do it," I heard my mother say, her words almost desperate. "She was doing so well in school. After Daniel," she trailed off and I squeezed my eyes shut willing her not to continue. "I just thought one of them would make it."

My father murmured comfortingly to her. It would be a blessing if Danial couldn't heard the conversation as clearly as I could. His hatred didn't need an accelerant.

Is this what every family is like? I wondered, watching the evening light that spilled through the shades onto the floor in lined patterns. Surely there are brothers and sisters who don't hate each other. Brothers who don't mind when their sisters make it further than them in the system. Brothers who don't turn wicked in their jealousy. In what world? But I let that thought drift.

My fathers voice had risen enough for me to hear. "We could ask for a third? It doesn't hurt to try."

A liar as always, Daniel. The thought was humorless.

"Don't bring that up, Ed," my mother snapped quickly. "We aren't a desperate family."

The stinging feeling was back in my eyes, but this time I allowed the tears to slowly slip down my cheeks, swallowing down the sobs that burned their way up my throat. My parents voices mercifully quieted before fading out as they retreated down the hall.

The events of the day stacked on top of my consciousness and I found myself struggling to stay awake. My ribs ached from where Sandra had punched me and my neck throbbed like I'd been stung by a wasp. As my mind drifted off to sleep, I had the strange feeling that I was forgetting something.

~~~

When I woke, dinner was long over and the last rays of sun were slipping behind the distant mountains. I crawled out of bed half asleep and wandered into the kitchen, rubbing my eyes at the brightness that momentarily blinded me.

"Oh good, you're awake," my father said as I rubbed my eyes groggily. "We were just about to come get you."

"You must be Lara," came a deep voice to my right. In an instant I was alert, swiveling to face the stranger that stood on the doorway. My eyes widened slightly at the sight of the man dressed neatly in the official uniform of the IF.

"Who are you." The man's sudden appearance had shocked all common sense from me, my distrust put plainly on display.

The man didn't seem worried. "Colonel Graff." He reached out his hand to give mine a firm shake as I attempted to reign in my confusion. "I have much to discuss with you. Preferably in private," he glanced meaningfully at my parents.

They seemed reluctant, but wordlessly moved to leave the room. I kept my expression schooled to indifference as my mother attempted to give me a reassuring smile, instead keeping my gaze on the Colonel until their footsteps disappeared.

"Your monitor was removed today," Graff began once they'd gone. "Are you aware as to why?"

I eyed him cautiously, unsure as to where this was going. "I have my speculations."

"If you don't mind."

Irked, I allowed a hint of sarcasm to weave its way into my words. "Because in some miraculous way, shape, or form, I managed to graciously fail to reach the standards of Battle School along with practically the rest of the population. I was either too rough, too sensative, or too stupid."

There was the slightest hint of a twinkle in the Colonels' eyes before it winked out and I was left to question whether it had truly been there at all. "And that, Launchie, is where you're wrong."