Two Set Violin -- Breddy 💜💜💜

Ch12

It was a darkness. An endless sea with seemingly no way out. He had fallen in and couldn't find air. No bubble to tell him which way was up. He was going to drown soon and he was afraid.

He didn't want to accept it. He didn't want to believe he had fallen so hard and sunk so low.

Everything was grey and the things he used to enjoy had turned into a lifeless color before his eyes. Why should he put on his glasses when there was nothing worth seeing?

There once was music. Bright and colorful; full of life, full of meaning. He had joyously entered that life, walked through that door. He hadn't regretted it at all.

There once was happiness. He wanted it to stay, but his grip was slipping. His hands were sweaty and he couldn't hold on. Fear crept throughout his body as he lost his hold and desperately tried to maintain his grasp on it.

He was aware. Some part of him knew it was happening and he tried to forget, tried to suppress those feelings.

He couldn't accept what was happening because he knew if he did, he would never come back.

There was once success. Succes in his music, his tours, his videos. His busking and numerous attempts and endurance paid off. Two million-- two million pairs of eyes were on him and, of course, there had always been pressure, but somewhere along the road it became too much.

Wasn't this supposed to be fun? Wasn't he supposed to be happy?

Happy.

What was that? When did he last feel happy? Maybe he was never happy. The world was always rose colored, and adulthood shattered those lenses and he could finally see clearly. So was he happy? Was he happy with the illusion of perfection society created for him as a child?

Even with the high expectations he assumed he had a good life, better than most. How could he not be happy?

He had friends and adventures, practice and performance, violin and sheet music. He thought they were tools for success but maybe they were dominoes. And the more the dominoes stacked, the longer and drawn out the pain would be. He would fall, and keep falling, and no one could stop it.

And yet there was a strange beauty to it all. Could he appreciate how his life led up to this moment? Shouldn't he?

His hands trembled, reaching for his glasses.

The whole point of them was to be able to see. To see things the way they were meant to be seen and yet his vision was still muddled. He wish he lived in a early 2000's movie. Then, he could take off his glasses and transform into the prettiest person in the movie, and have a happy ending. He wouldn't need the lenses anymore.

Even with his glasses on, the room was still dark.

Dark, dark, dark.

A scream itched up his throat and he swallowed it.

He wish he could be sad. He wanted to cry, but he just felt numb.

So numb.

It all was becoming nothing. Nothing, but something, something that was tearing up his vision and destroying his world.

His fist clenched his sheets.

He was so angry. Why couldn't it all just stop? He wished he never got to see the world for what it was.

Or maybe--

No. No, it wasn't the world.

It was him.

Brett Yang.

He was angry at himself, disappointed with himself. There was nothing good about him. What did he have to offer? To the world? To anyone?

He was Brett Yang and he loathed it.

No one should have to be near him, to experience him.

He wasn't worthy of anyone or anything.

Slowly, he sank some more.

He didn't want to accept it, but he was beginning to. Who could stop him?

Who could stop him from drowning, falling to the bottom of the ocean, his breath cutting off? No one. He would be no none. There would be no one.

There was no one...

And then there was Eddy.

(A/N: hey! Took my ap spanish exam today and oh boy was it hellish. I accidentally wrote in the last chapter that it was on Thursday-- I meant Friday and I changed it but some people still saw it as Thursday oopsies. Anyways, here's a little angst to brighten your day haha.)