weedle deee weedle dick
okay so i wake up to confetti on my face and see rachel’s face and her flaring nostrils beaming at me. i give her an ugly look and notice her snot leaving her nostrils and floating up to the ceiling. i roll my eyes as i know space sickness is a big deal here.
as rachel leaves for breakfast, my personal yoga robot, scooter, comes in to give me my daily workout. he comes up to me and dips his fingers in mustard and puts it on my face, slowly applying it to my cheeks. his face quickly switches to heart eyes and he inserts his fingers into my belly button. i feel him in my stomach as he tells me this is a faster way to loose weight. he starts moaning and twitching and i push him away as he’s clearly lost his mind. i leap up to the vents and crawl out to try and go to the breakfast hall. i crawl for a while and notice clanging noises from in front. scooter. he’s here. but in front of me, flabbergasted, i back away without seeing where i’m going and fall down from a hole in the vents. i smack on the ground like some sorta fat pancake and look up to see bella shivering.
“what are you doing here?!” she shouts at me
“i’m running away from scooter, he’s gone psycho!”
“dont call my brother psycho!” she pauses as she looks at my blank expression as he covers her out with her hands
“WHAT DID YOU SAY”
“i- you- meep moop tick tok on the-“ she fades to a darker color as i realize she, too was a robot.
no wonder why she was so pale! i knew no human could be that white. i quickly put her in the storage closet, and head to breakfast with the gang, hoping someone isn’t stupid enough to actually let the psycho ghost looking not human out.
i catch up to preethi, who spent the night with daniel, having the sex apparently she had a whole ritual before she did the non blessed deed, dan posted it on his snap story and i shook my head. dan’s twin brother, jj, was going to be so mad that a robot had more game than him when it came to his girlfriend. i told preethi what happened with scooter, leaving out the cursed part about bella, and asked her if i should tell jj about it. “he’s you boyfriend obviously tell him”
“ok boomer”
i skipped to lunch with me bestie boo as we casually sing the sofia the first song and enter the dining hall. jj and daniel were sitting together, two open seats on the table presumably for us, so we go to the table as they hoot and catcall us. we slap them to shut them up and stuff toilet paper down their throats. they proceeded to kung foo chop our hands, but they actually took classes so dan cut preethi’s hand off and jj fractured my wrist. uh oh i can’t tell jj a robot tried to have sex with me with a fractured wrist! it’s bad feng chui!!!
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Pure Farquad Chaos
Hayran KurguA bunch of friends doing stupid stuff This was inspired by GEORGE WASHINGTON X READER
