Enheduanna: The First Author - Wattys Winner 2021

10. Sacred Marriage

With a new name, I descended the steps towards this new city. Idal joined me at the gates of Nanna, leading the rest of the way. He even walked like a soldier. There was a marching quality to every step. 

The heat licked at our faces, coiling around our limbs like a hot-blooded serpent. The birds were silent and the high palms stood still. From underneath my feet, I could feel the ground smouldering, sending up a disorientating haze. 

But as soon as we entered the streets of Ur, amazement washed over me like a cold wave. Vendors pushing handcarts through the streets and calling out their wares surrounded us. A sporadic passing-by of goats and sheep waved through the crowd, known not just by their calls but by the charmingly random melody of their bells. Much-laden donkeys shuffled saddlebags filled with the harvestable of the land. 

This was the life I dreamed of, to be free to roam these streets. Explore every venue, taste all the delicacies they offered without restraint.

Nearing the central square of Ur, domestic life centred around the magnificent water basin. Children giggling, playing carelessly in the splashes of cool water. Through their mirth-lightened chores, women were chatting and laughing, ceaselessly replenished in the shade of the date palms. A few looked up momentarily, but overall, our procession gathered little attention. 

I, on the other hand, couldn't shift my attention quick enough. These sights, sounds, even the smells were all heavenly to me. From the colorful food to the tranquil laughter, I wanted to explore it all. Never before had I seen them up close, just a few steps, and I could be one of them.

Idal blocked my path, peering across the square. "Careful, princess. We wouldn't want you to get hurt on this special day." 

"I have a name, you know."

The way his eyebrows raised gave him an uncharacteristically tender look. "I wasn't aware you wanted me to call you by your name -"

"Enheduanna," I interrupted. "From now on, my name is Enheduanna." 

Idal's head sagged down to his chest as he rearranged his expression to that hard scowl he always wore. "We must keep moving. Your father is expecting you." 

"Enter the high priestess, Enheduanna," Idal announced as we entered a house that looked more like a palace. No doubt another residence of one of the lords loyal to my father. Father and mother sat on a throne, dressed in all their royal robes.  

"Your name is sweet, Nanna the prince called it. Correspondingly, your words please An, the God of heaven." Father smiled as I approached his throne.

Beside him, the queen rose to cup my face in her delicate hands. "Oh my, Enheduanna, may you be exalted in heaven. The purification right of the Giparu is prepared for you. The sacred powers of En-ship are established. After tonight, you will hold that power."

The power to be free. To be who I wish to be, spread my wings and fly. It was so close I could taste it. All I needed to do was prove myself worthy.

The ritual drums started its beat, slow and rhythmic as a beating heart.

Kicking my right leg forward with pointed toes and flexed calf muscles, I pivoted in a revolving whirl of sharp precision and accurate grace. I wanted this as badly as I wanted to breathe. The entirety of my being began advancing in movement with purposeful clarity. With each poised stride I took, it became crippling obvious just how demanding and rigorous this ritual dance was on the human body. My muscles strained, limbs ached, but I didn't miss a beat. Let my spirit descend from this mortal realm and join the gods up above. 

The steps flowed through me like an unseen force moved my body. It told a story, not my story, but that of Ningal. The lady of the reeds, daughter of Enki, who traded the golden kingdom of her father for the realm of the night.

Just like me. The muscles of my chin trembled as a single tear rolled down my face.

Oh, great lady, I know your pain. 

In the evening, the priestess brought a consecrated garment to my father's house. The garment of a bride. Even my head was covered like a bride, and after eating a meager oatcake, I left the house, accompanied by my bridesmaids. 

At the temple, I sat upon a throne and received a new garment, a bed, a chair, a stool from the lords of Ur. The veil covered my courteous smiles, but, thanks to Kituzda, each of my smiles was only answered with the faintest smile. The lords clearly held their priestesses in high regard.

As the ceremony droned on, I drifted in and out of consciousness. One moment Idal stood beside me, the next he was talking to Kituzda. My vision became a blur, and a voice seemed to float aimlessly around my thoughts. Why couldn't I hear what it was saying? 

A tap on my shoulder momentarily brought me back to the outside world, Idal holding out his hand for me. "They say that it is time." 

Following his line of sight, I saw Kituzda and the other priestess looking at me expectantly. The moment I spotted the special coverlet in Shula's arms, I knew what they meant.

This was the last hurdle I had to take. If Nanna choose me tonight, I would finally be free. For a moment, my stomach curled up. What if he didn't choose me? Then the streets would no doubt be painted red once more. Glancing at the flaming-haired priestess before me, I realized that she would probably be delighted if that happened.

The Giparu lay in the area immediately southwest of the Ziggurat Terrace and was separated from it by a paved street. Chanting a lullaby, the priestesses helped me into the sacred basin filled with scented water. Each scrubbed a part of my skin, peeling off the old, revealing the new. When I was finally prepared, Kituzda lay me down on the bed, covering me with great care. If I didn't know any better, I would say she was a mother tugging in her child. Those snake eyes looked gentle for just a moment. Maybe even remorseful.

"Let the sacred marriage begin," the priestess chanted to the heavens, and in the blink of an eye, everyone was gone.

I was alone in this bed, staring up at the night sky expectantly.