Enheduanna: The First Author - Wattys Winner 2021

15. Flood Of Emotions

It was late in the afternoon once Dingira and I finally returned, and the sun slanted through the pillars of the gate, casting stripes down the busy arcade lined with merchants' booths and cook-shops. We made our way to the crowd, cavorting and dodging around a steady stream of men moving from the gate to the temple. Gathering offerings for the new moon.

Whether he came from the shadow or from thin air, I did not know, but before I knew it Idal was standing next to me, his hand firmly around my arm. Yet, his voice betrayed the worry in his being. "Where have you been? I have been looking all over for you."

"Stand down soldier, she was with me." Dingira answered.

Idal's onyx eyes shot a warning glare towards Dingira. "When I speak to Enheduanna, it is her answer that I want to hear. Not yours, thief."

"She is a temple servant who now serves Nanna," I corrected Idal. His worry was honey to my senses, but my mind hadn't quite forgotten his sour betrayal with Kituzda either.

"Regardless, she stole. I do not know if we can trust her to be within your company." He said.

"I am safe, am I not. Therefore, she can be trusted." I stated, placing myself between Idal and Dingira. Idal's onyx eyes flickered somewhere between worry and pity, but he held his tongue. His grip loosening around my arm until it fell with a gentle stroke down.

Idal led us back into the temple through back passages, but avoided the Great Court, instead winding through the narrow alleys where the sleeping quarters of the servants were.

A plump figure in the ceremonial gray garb ran around without direction, looking around searchingly. The moment she caught sight of me, she sighed in relief and hurried toward us, her skirt and shawl billowing about her like worried clouds.

"Are you alright my Great Lady?" gasped Shula, drawing up to us with flushed cheeks.

I nodded silently. Shula's large almond-shaped eyes flicked widely between Dingira and me, her mouth curving into a small circle of dismay.

"Don't you bother where she went," said Idal, his tone back to that stone cold timber that matched the hardness in his face. "Wherever it was, it was your fault. You were supposed to conduct her to the temple for the ceremony. Where were you?"

Shula toyed anxiously with a lock of hair that had fallen free of her unswept braids. "I was studying the most fascinating literature, and when I remembered my errand and came to the Giparu to escort her, it was empty. After which, I went to seek your help."

Idal snorted in disgust, but Shula ignored him, tilting her head to one side in a way rather intelligent and vivacious bird did when they examine something new. "I'm sorry, my lady. You must have been lost beyond belief. Are you hungry? Have you eaten?"

"Yes," said Dingira before I could answer. "Enheduanna has broken bread with me, which is why she wasn't in the Giparu as she was supposed to be. I am solely to blame."

Shula raised her eyebrows, opening her mouth to say something, but I interfered. "I went with the maid Dingira. I am as much to blame as her."

Shula smiled sweetly, "well, it is all behind us now. It is best forgotten." She glanced at Dingira. "Thank you for assisting her."

"Let's not waste any more sunlight. Nanna is expecting his high priestess." Idal huffed, turned, and crossed the Great Court in his military march. Shula followed him, looking over her shoulder to smile at Dingira and me.

Kituzda gave Shula an evil glance as soon as the priestess entered the house of the great light, but the full force of her glower was reserved for me. "A moment later and I would have announced that you ran back to Akkad."

"Do you take me for a coward?" I hissed.

All the other priestesses grew silent as they heard my words, but Kituzda didn't back off.

"Enough ladies," Idal said, glancing towards the rising moon in the sky. "Nanna is waiting for you. All of you. The bickering can wait."

I took my place in the centre of the room, beneath the hole in the ceiling, surrounded my the stars glistening on the walls. The moon sunk down to the earth between the winged bulls as the moon rose above me. The other priestesses flanked me on either side, their voices echoing the first sentence of my hymn.

"O House with a magnificent name, rising mountain of heaven, your holy sides and your great foundation are most precious." I sang, releasing all my worry with each syllable. "Interior full with princely divine powers, a beaming light which shines. Shine with your back to the blue sky and your prominent front to all people in the land. For it is this light that represents a binding agreement and your divine trace."

My voice faltered as the taste of ashes and sorrow suddenly forced me to swallow a lump. Behind the black of my eyes an image flooded my mind so suddenly it almost knocked all the air from my lunges. Rain, the rain I had promised the sheppard not a day ago drowned my mind, forming a giant wave that tore down everything that stood in its way, leaving millions of shards, as if broken hope had become visible.

The hand on my shoulder brought me back to the temple, Shula's eyes searching mine with worriedness. I opened my mouth to continue the hymn. "Magnificent mo—river—with open mouth gathering together your mighty powers, your base is great, a righteous hill grown in a broad place." I said, drifting mid-sentence from the hymn I had written. "Your lofty dwelling-place of magnificence with all the divine powers of princeship, shining, shouting, swallowing; house of celebration, light of my life, your platform gladdens the settlements."

My knees gave out under me the moment I spoke my last word, dropping me to the tiled floor. Each breath felt like I was held underwater, the vision of the wave flashing in my mind each time I closed my eyes.

"Enheduanna? What is wrong, my lady?" Shula asked.

Dingira broke from her place near the entrance and hurried to my side. "She is burning up. Get her some water!"

"We can't leave the ceremony undone!" Kituzda protested.

"Are you mad? She clearly needs help." Dingira shot back before Idal all but picked me up from the floor. His onyx eyes bore into my mind. "You have to help. You swore to protect them," echoed through my thoughts as Dingira whipped the sweat from my forehead. "Compassion is your strength, cherish it." She sang in my mind.

"The people!" I yelled, struggling to get the words out. "We need to get the people here. Before the wave."

"What are you talking about?" Idal asked.

"I don't believe it. Nanna is showing her visions in her waking hours." The pruney priestess awed.

I forced myself to stand on wobbling legs. "Sound the alarm, we have to gather everyone on higher ground."

"Hold up," Kituzda screamed. "I've seen these doom visions before. During the sacred marriage, she falsely cried about a drought and famine. Let's not be rash."

"Please," I cried. A deadly silence fell over the room. The brokenness was visible in my tear-stained eyes. I was a princess. I was proud. Yet here I stood with tears falling for the first time in eight years. My expression resembled that of a child who has been told his mother was gone. I was lost beyond compare. All I knew was that I needed to act now.

"I beg of you; sound the alarm."