Just Breathe

Chapter Thirty-Six Gavin

I watch Bailey sleep for a while before stepping out of the room and heading to the hospital cafeteria to grab some coffee. Ash usually brings breakfast for me, but I need the caffeine right now.  Everything still feels so surreal to me. I’m still adjusting to the fact that Bailey almost died…and it was my fault. I was such a coward. So what, if she didn’t tell me? If I was in her shoes, I would be damn nervous and terrified to tell her too. Fuck!

“You about done with the self-pity party yet, or you still need another minute?” I look over my shoulder and find Hunter standing just a few feet away from my table. Guess I didn’t realize how long I had been here. Shit, Logan must be freaking out not seeing me, and what if Bailey woke up? I get up abruptly when Hunter steps closer and shoves me back into my seat.

“Ash is off today and is sitting with Logan. Bailey still hasn’t woken up.” He explains.

“She came to last night.” I breathe out, still trapped in my own thoughts.

“And?” He sits up a little straighter. I take a deep breath and look in his direction. It’s not until right now that I realize that if it weren’t for him and Ash, I don’t know how I would have taken care of Logan, the shop, and Bailey.

“Listen, man I just wanna say thanks, for everything. I don’t know how I would have been able to stay here with Bailey, take care of Logan, and handle the shop. Anything you need, ever, I got you.”

“Seriously dude, I should just punch you in the face. I already told you, we’re brothers, it’s what we do. Now, Bailey came to, so what the fuck are you doing sitting here alone and moping about?” Hunter insists.

“It was a shit storm last night. She came to but was in a panic and in so much pain. Her blood pressure spikes every time the meds wear off and the pain comes back. Doc says it’s because of the morphine and coming off the induced coma. She came to again earlier this morning, and this time, she wasn’t in such a panic, but of course, she was in pain but acted like it was nothing.” I breathe out frustrated.

“Sounds like Bailey, alright.” Hunter chuckles. Yeah, it does. Stubborn woman.

“So far, no memory loss. Thank fuck. I was dying on the inside when the doctor asked her who I was, and when she wrote down my name I about wept like a little bitch.” He laughs out loud.

“Sorry to break it to you douche, it seems you’re unforgettable.” He throws some napkins my way.

“Fuck off.” We get serious for a moment, not saying a word, just both of us lost in thought.

“If you go in there blaming yourself for what happened, you’re gonna lose her.” I look up and lock eyes with his. His expressionless face tells me he’s dead serious and not fucking around.

“I know where your head is at, and I’m pretty damn sure if I was in your shoes and that was Ash, I would probably be acting the same as you, and you would be giving me this exact speech.” We both smirk. Fucker is right.

“I know you’re going through all the “what-ifs”. Even if she told you, or you were there that night, he still would have found a way to get to her. You know why? Cause he was a sick fuck who was just bidding his time. He had been watching her and us for some time. If he didn’t pounce that night, he would have done so when she left work or went to pick up Logan from school. My fuckin point is, she’s alive, and so is that precious kid. Yeah, she’s beat to shit and she’s gonna need all the help she can get, and if I know Bailey, she is going to fight you because she doesn’t want your pity.”
Well, fuck me if Hunter didn’t just school my ass.

“When did you get all wise-ass?”

“Shut up!” He throws back.

“I just wish I hadn’t reacted the way I did… I gave her the idea that I didn’t believe in her… she needed me, and I left…” I ball up my fists.