Just Breathe

Chapter Thirty-Seven Bailey

I feel the warm morning sun on my face as I stir awake. The nurse must have opened the curtains on her last check. It takes me a few minutes to focus, but once I do, my eyes land on the handsome man that hasn’t left my side since I came out of my coma, two weeks ago. Gavin was sleeping soundly, with his head laying on my leg and grasping my fingertips. I’ve begged him to go home and sleep during the night, and that I would still be here when he came back in the morning, but he was not having it. I’ve learned over the last few weeks that Gavin is very alpha male and stubborn. When I woke from the induced coma and feared that he was still upset with me, and only staying out of guilt, I tried to send him away. I told him numerous times that I wasn’t his responsibility, and neither was Logan, but that I was and would be forever thankful that he watched him while I couldn’t, but he had to get back to his life. Let’s just say when Gavin wants to make his point get across, he does, without any misunderstandings.

“Bailey, I’m only going to say this once.” I tried to reach for the whiteboard to explain he didn’t owe me anything, but he reached for it and placed it on the trolly next to the bed. I huffed in frustration but waited to hear him out.

“I’ll never forgive myself for ever doubting you for even a second, and leaving that night…” I try to stop him from his guilt trip, but I can’t speak, and I can’t reach the whiteboard.

“Just listen to what I’m saying, and stop trying to find a way to speak.” I don’t remember him being this bossy before. Since I really can’t speak, and everything still hurts, I just listen to him. He reaches for my hand and brings it up to his lips and just keeps it there for a while. I love it when he does that. I close my eye briefly, just enjoying the feeling, before opening it back up and looking at him.

“I don’t have the words to explain exactly what I feel for you, Bailey. I just know that you have taken place in my heart, and so has Logan, and that happened before…this nightmare.” He stops and tightens his grip on my hand before continuing.

“I want… No…I need you in my life. Both of you. Having you near sparks something in me to be a better man, a better role model for Logan. These last few weeks, when Logan has been my responsibility, have made me realize that I would give my life to ensure that he is happy, healthy, and safe.” He swallows and presses soft kisses to my fingertips. I can barely make out his face from the tears that are welling up and threatening to escape.

“I will do whatever it takes to gain your trust in me again, and to prove to you that you are the woman I need and want in my life forever.” I squeeze his hand and look over to the trolly where the whiteboard is. He lets out a huff, but reaches for it and hands it to me. With watery eyes, I write down what I hope relays how I feel about him, and want what he wants. As I write, I can feel the anxiety rolling off of him, but he sits quietly, watching me until I place the marker down, and turn the whiteboard to him and wait for his response or reaction.

My name is Bailey Peterson, I come from a small town called Berry Town. My mother died in a car accident, with me in it, when I was sixteen years old, leaving my brother Logan, at just one and a half years old, behind. My father checked out, and I became the main parent in Logan’s life. He calls me mom, even though he knows I’m not. My father turned to alcohol, and who knows what else, and became abusive towards me, blaming me for my mother’s death. I ran away with Logan. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and to Logan. I kinda, sorta wanna keep you.

Since then, he has made it a point to let everyone know I am his woman. I try to move my hand slowly out of his, trying not to wake him. Although I’m the one recovering and need all my rest, Gavin needs a week worth of sleep, and I’m afraid it won’t happen until we’re home. Home. I still can’t believe that we’ll be living together as a family, starting today. Believe it baby girl, that man only sees you. I smile at the thought. I finally manage to remove my hand from his without him stirring. Success! Now, all I have to do is slowly get up off the bed and make it to the bathroom. I know what you’re thinking, just wake him up and have him help you. I would have if he had woken up when I removed my hand from his. Since he didn’t even stir, that only tells me he is pretty much dead on his feet and I intend to let him sleep because when he is awake, he is a complete control freak mother hen! It’s really sweet, and I adore him for being so attentive to me, but I need to start doing things on my own, like going to pee alone! I still hurt significantly, don’t get me wrong, but I can finally say that I only hurt badly when getting up and laying down. For the most part, the pain is a low throb. I manage to pull back the blankets and slow as a snail, I drop my left leg over the bed and use my left arm to hoist myself up on my elbow, and take a deep breath before I push up on my arm and drag my right leg over the side of the bed. Oh, sweet lord! Okay, now that I’m sitting up, I try and control my breathing, as sharper pain spreads through my right side. My ribs protest as I take a few breaths to hopefully ease the pain. I’m about to place my feet on the floor when I hear him.