Just Breathe

Chapter Ten Bailey

Logan chatted happily in the backseat about Gavin and Zeus coming over for dinner, and how we have to make mac and cheese since it's the bestest food, and its Gavin's too. I, on the other hand, although happy, was freaking out about having invited Gavin over for dinner. I mean, I want to spend more time with him, and I believe him when he says he wants to get to know me and Logan, but I won't lie, I am scared shitless. There is so much he doesn't know about me. Things that once they come to light, he might not like or understand, or want to understand. Okay, baby girl, calm your shit down. Its not like you MUST spill your damn guts out to the guy. Start slow. You can always tell half the truth and build from there. Okay, so my inner voice has a damn point. I always do. Slow down, sister. Don't get too ahead of yourself. But my inner voice is right, on some level. I can choose what to share and how I want to share it. I'll start slow and see how things go. Besides, it's not like I have to confess my whole life in one go. Okay, I can do this, I can do this.

As Logan helped me set the table for dinner, I figured Id get a feel about his opinion of Gavin, even if I already knew what he would say.

"Hey, bubba, can I ask you something?"

"Sure." He continued to place the forks beside each plate while I placed the napkins.

"What do you think about Gavin?"

"I think he's pretty cool." Figured as much.

"Yeah, I guess he is. When you're around him, do you feel comfortable being yourself?" This got him to face me and think for a minute.

"I think so. I mean, I'm not scared of him or anything. He always talks to me and asks me questions like how school is doing, or what my favorite stuff is. He colors with me, and even told me I could go to his work one day and watch him draw on people. Plus, he has the bestest dog in the world." He finishes his speech with the biggest smile I have ever seen on him and that warms my insides like nothing else. Not once did Logan hesitate when explaining why he likes Gavin, and that gives me hope that Gavin really is an amazing man. I just can't come to terms with why he would want to be serious with me when I have all this baggage. I mean, everyone has said that he has never settled down, so why would he want to with someone who has a child to take care of and put first. You'll just have to find out now, wont you? My inner voice needed a damn day off and to give me some breathing space.

"Mom, what time is Gavin getting here?" Logan asks as he settles himself in his chair at the kitchen table.

"Well, we agreed on 6:30 PM, but he said he had a busy afternoon at work, so he might be a little late." I respond while serving him his mac and cheese. I contain my laughter as I think of Gavins reaction when he gets here for dinner, and its mac and cheese.

"What time is it now? I can wait until he gets here." Logan asks as he digs right into his food. The kid can say hell wait all he wants, but when it comes to mac and cheese, he waits for no one.

"It's 6:40 PM and today is Sunday, so you'll need to be in bed at the usual time, 8:30 PM" I let him know the schedule is still the same, whether Gavin was on time or not.

"I know, but I can still hang out with him until my bedtime."

"Yes, you can. When Gavin arrives, you can still hang out with him, but once its bedtime, its bedtime, no fuss, okay?" I look at him and give him a serious look, so he knows I mean business.

"Got it." I ruffle up his hair and am about to go into the kitchen when theres a knock on the door. Taking a deep breath, I open the door to find a very sexy Gavin and an excited Zeus.

"Hey, beautiful. Sorry, were a few minutes late. I hope it's still alright to come over." He leans in and presses his unbelievably soft lips against my forehead. Why does he have to be so darn sweet?