Just Breathe

Chapter Twenty-Eight Bailey

"Logan isn't your son..." Gavin whispered to himself as I told him about my mom being pregnant with him when I was fifteen years old. I continued with my story about when we had the car accident and my mom died, and I how I couldn't attend her funeral. How my father never showed up, and how I found my little brother when I was released from the hospital.

"Son of a bitch." Another whispered statement. I continued as if I had been recorded. It didn't sound like my voice, or at least to my ears, it didn't. I felt as if I was in some sort of creepy forest with gnarled, naked trees surrounding me. I felt cold, isolated, and abandoned. I continued on with how the next couple of months were, to how the last few years became. I told him about the journal I kept with the pictures I took, the best I could. I explained how I went to the police station and what had happened once I walked through the front door of my house. I told him about my plan to escape and how after hearing that phone call I had to make our move much sooner.

Gavin cursed and paced in front of me, tugging at his hair. I could feel his anger rolling off of him in waves. I sat there staring into nothing, feeling detached from my body and everything around me. Gavin continued his pacing, but occasionally would stop and face me. I didn't look at him. I just wanted him to go so I could pack our stuff and be on our way. I shouldn't have gotten involved with him. I should have kept a low profile. I shouldn't have stayed in this damn town.

"I don't know what the fuck to say." He stops pacing and faces me. I continue to stare into nothing. I can't look at him. Right now, I just wish I could disappear and never be found.

"Ever since you came into this town, I have shown you that I could be trusted. I allowed our entire relationship to be paced by you. You called the shots." He shakes his head and runs a hand down his face before continuing.

"I fuckin told you about Travis the moment you saw me have a fuckin nightmare. I could have lied to you, but I didn't. I told you the truth."

"I know..." Is what I manage out. I'm so stupid.

"You know? Bailey, I asked you outright where Logan's father was, and you deliberately lied to me!" he shouted but apologized right after. He's so right. I lied to him when I had the opportunity to tell him the truth. If I had told him that day things would have been completely different now.

"I did everything to show you, to prove to you, that you could trust me. That both you and Logan could trust me." He resumed his pacing again. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't tell him I was sorry, that would be like spitting in his face right now. When did I screw this up so bad between us?

"I thought we were on the same page when it came to us, but clearly, I was really fuckin off." He turns towards my front door, and at that moment, I feel my heart drop right into the bottom of my stomach. I try to open my mouth, but nothing, absolutely nothing, comes out. What do I say to him? I broke this man's trust in the worst way possible when he gave me his, willingly.

"I just need a little time to think about everything you just told me." He looks back at me before finishing.

"Just... just stay here until morning... Please." He sounded so broken. I didn't have the heart to tell him I couldn't stay until morning. He found us already, it's just a matter of time before he pounces.

I look into Gavin's dark chocolate eyes and give him what he's asking for. I nod my head and he lets out a breath.

"Zeus!" He calls out and Zeus and Logan come into the living room. Zeus going straight to his owner and Logan coming right to me. Before both of them could make it out the door Zeus looks back and lets out a bark.

"Come on boy. It's time to go." Gavin tugs a bit on his collar, and he goes reluctantly. I hug Logan tight in my arms and stay seated on the floor until my butt feels numb.

~

"Mom, do we really have to go?" Logan asks softly as we sit on the couch watching A Goofy Movie while waiting for our takeout. I didn't want to scare Logan, but he had to know what was happening. Once Gavin left, I explained what was going on the best I could, without telling him our father had actually found us. I went over the scenarios of just in case he did find us, how if I called out his actual name and not bubba, that he was to hide in the smallest space he could find, and not make a sound until I came for him. That didn't sit too well with him, but he didn't protest. He knew the drill, unfortunately.

"Yeah, bubba. It's for the best." I looked down at him and I just wanted to cry. I hated what was happening. I wish we didn't have to run but if we stayed, I wouldn't make it out alive. He would make sure that I didn't live for having run away.

"I'm sorry, bubba. I wish I could give you a different life." I whispered against his hair.

"Don't be sorry, Bailey. I have the bestest life because of you." This kid was everything.

"I love you, bubba. Always." I smiled down at him.

"I love you too, mom." There was a knock at the door. Must be the take-out.

"That must be the food. Why don't you go get the orange juice from the fridge while I answer the door?

"Yes! Ribs!" Off he went like we didn't just have a serious conversation about our survival. Kids bounce back so much better than adults.

I walk over to the door and look through the pip hole and see a man wearing a baseball cap low enough to cover his eyes, but I see the takeout bags so I begin to unlock the door. When I pull back just a little, the door comes crashing into my face and knocking me back. Everything is fuzzy for a bit, but the dreaded feeling in my stomach has me calling out Logan's name. Letting him know that he has found us, and to hide.