Confessions of a Wanton

45 Secrets

🎶 Seize the Day : Avenged Sevenfold 🎶
    
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Damien:

I sit back. My dicks gone soft. Closing my eyes as I steel myself for the wash of pain I know is coming.

I put myself together. Zipping my pants as she stared at me. I don't look at her. Can't look at her.

Her fingers brush over my arm and I flinch.

"It's going to break us if you don't tell me." I did look up at her then. She'd let her hair fall from the bun. Dark tendrils fell loosely over her bare shoulders, her dark sports bra covering the breasts I love so much. Her tattoos stark in the moonlight.

Away from the fire, away from the people. Just the two of us. Like I want it to always be. The moon shone brightly like a beacon of truth I know I need to light.

She has the right to know.

I don't know how she'll react.

If she'll continue to choose me.

I gulp. Staring into her ocean-like eyes. Memorizing her face before opening up my phone and dialing the number that could end everything. The one I should have called right away. Weeks ago. There was no answer. It went to voicemail the machines voice so unlike the person it belongs to.

"Come to the warehouse as soon as possible." I stated leaving my message. My heart dropped to my stomach at the curious look Charlotte gave me as I hung up. I reached out to her, afraid she's already pulling away.

She doesn't. She pulled her leggings back up and settled into my arms. Patiently waiting for me to explain. I don't need to. It'll be apparent soon.

Until then I'm going to hold her with reverence. Like she's made of bone China. A fragile thing. I know she's not. I've seen her work through her issues. Beat men bigger than her. Given herself over to a world she knew nothing about. Hell, I even helped her along.

I pour all my feelings into my touch. Saying nothing as I let my fingers work over her skin. Allowing myself the simple pleasure of her presence before it's ripped away.

"Why do I feel like I'm about to lose you?" She whispered. Tears glittering in her eyes.

I let out a ragged breath. Letting my own tears spill down my cheeks. She gasped coming closer for a kiss.

I let her. Savoring the sweet honeyed flavor of her mouth as I open myself to her. Praying that she won't leave me in the end.

"I think it's me who is going to lose you." My voice breaks. "I love you Charlotte. More than anything or anyone I've ever loved before."

I allow the memories to flow between us. The final bond tying us together.

"I'm so sorry."

I can't keep this secret anymore.

I've felt a fear very few times in my adult life. I usually stamp it out with logic. Thinking, if I don't live through this then everyone I love will still be ok. It's enough to get me through.

I don't know if I can live without her.

In fact. I'm certain I can't.

I'm more afraid than I've ever been in my life.

Fear on the battle field will get you killed. It renders its wearer immobile, that deer in the headlights look gets wrapped up in ones consciousness and allows whatever's coming to hit them. Full speed. Whether it's a bullet or a freight train most of the time the outcome is the same.