Confessions of a Wanton

34 Sirens

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Maze:

Every bone in my body feels like it's been dipped in ice water and left there for too long. Each pump of my heart spreading a melting acid through my shriveling veins, the contrast of my lethargic limbs versus the rushing of my blood shot tendrils of pain through every nerve ending.

Organs exploding agony with a forceful intensity akin to several bombs going off at once, mental shrapnel coating every inch of me, inside and out.

Muscles tightly clenching, shoving back and forth from freezing to inferno. My skin feels as though it's ablaze with hellfire. An external demonic bonfire licking at my sweat drenched body as I writhe in torment. The duality of temperatures makes me shake uncontrollably. I can't move of my own accord.

I'm terrified. My mind reeling at all the possibilities of what's happening to me. Eyes wide open, yet unseeing.

Someone is whimpering.

It takes a moment to realize it's me.

My brain isn't firing on all the right pistons.

I try to remember what I was doing before pain overtook me. I'm met with more blindingly white distress. Shaking more with each passing moment as the momentum of what's happening really hits me.

I can't see. I'm blind. My body isn't listening to me.

I begin to panic.

"Stop."

The voice is male. Deep. Authoritative.

Alpha.

My mind tries to grasp the meaning of the word. Knowing I should know it. Feeling like I'm missing a vital part of me. Where is the sass that I hide behind? The brat that I always am ,where is she? Where am I?

Who am I?

Trying to reach past the aggravation of shocking sensations as I feel myself enveloped in warmth, my pulse slows. Strong arms pick me up off the hard surface I'd been lying on. Body flopping like a fish out of water, yet rigid as a board in some places, appendages twisting painfully while trying to catch a breath. The warmth envelopes my body, swathing my soul with a sense of complete peace.

My skin isn't on fire anymore. My veins no longer an acidic enemy trying to burst my heart out of my heaving chest. My muscles are trying to relax. Spasms continue as I try to reclaim myself.

My bones still hurt. Icy tendrils cramp my insides, spreading to other areas until I'm blanketed in cold. Like a winter storm breaking through the window of a small warm and cozy cabin, the heat is leaving me. Sucking the warmth out through the small holes in my psyche, enclosing me in darkness. Ice and frost. Will I ever feel warm again?

"Stop."

Barely a whisper this time.

Soft.

Sweet.

Warm.

Still Alpha.

Whoever it is I don't want them to let me go. They're pushing back the raging storm inside me that I have no control over. No inkling if what to do to save myself from the avalanche of icy emotions.

If they let me go... I will be lost.

I can feel they know it too.

His scent- I don't know how I know it's a he, I just do- is like cedar, and grass. Summer, warmth. Sunshine after rain. An event horizon that I cannot even fathom. Yet I want to.