Confessions of a Wanton

18 Destruction

🎶 Piece by Piece : Strata 🎶

Damien:

The wall encased my fist, plaster and shit spewing out as I go for another hit. White particles waft through the air, as I punch through again. My boxing bag is already in pieces. I've hit it so much, the sand and cloth we'd put in when Jax and I built it, is all over the floor.

The rubber dummies are in the same condition, torn to fucking pieces as I raged war on the room. Weights are thrown haphazardly, dents in the walls. Glass shattered everywhere. My garage is a fucking mess but I can't seem to stop.

I'm so pissed, I can feel my beast within me howling to get out and find her. I'm howling to go find her. But I don't know where she is.

'She fucking left me. For him.' Im telling myself it's not true. Telling myself it is. I can't feel her anymore. Like she's been fucking drugged or something. 

I know she's alive. I've seen what happens to the mate left behind, and I'm not it. Roman was a fucking mess when Eirian, my little sister, died. He'd been on the last stretch of his tour overseas. They'd gotten pregnant his last visit home. He'd lost his shit when he'd felt her death, and the death of their unborn child.

I'm not losing my shit like he had. I'm venting my mother fucking anger. There's a difference. Not much. But Fuck.

Killian had stopped me, putting up an electric barrier between us when I'd chased them. A simple flick of a switch and he'd effectively cut me off from my mate. Like he'd fucking planned it. I'm sure he did. Little fucker is smart. Has the fucking tech to set off bombs throughout the world at his fingertips.

Fucking psychopath. I don't know how I hadn't seen it when we were kids. He'd been weird, but I'd always liked him. Probably manipulated the fuck out of me so I would.

The fucking drawback of finding a compatible mate; They become your sun, moon, and stars. Oh it's all good to begin with. Unless they die of unnatural causes. The virus had only enhanced bonds. Making it more like they become the very air you breathe. Impossible to live without. In a way, Roman really had died with her. He's never been the same.

I had just finished my first term. Supposed to be my only time of service, but as I was visiting with Eirian and Jax, began thinking of reenlisting rather than reporting back to my father. I would fight for my country, for the people I loved. I'd been ready to go back to war rather than have to become another business tycoon, another Alpha. It seemed inevitable, but I wanted to fight for it. Perhaps I should be careful what I wish for.

Five year old Jax had been so excited to meet me. Id known him as a baby, before I'd done the family tradition of enlisting in the military. Had to try and keep my Father happy. I'd loved the kid the moment I'd laid eyes on him. A mix of my sister and Roman, he'd been cute as a kid, cute as a mastiff puppy. Fucking smart as a whip.

We'd played together, he finding comfort in my acceptance of him, I seeing a bit of myself staring out of that kids eyes. He had a thousand yard stare, he could already feel people's emotions at that point. He could catch glimpses inside of people's minds. He understood so much more than any five year old should have.

Yet Jax had been so excited to have a baby sister. We'd put the nursery together, while Eirian rested. It had been a good pregnancy but she got emotional easily. Jax had done everything he could to help. So had I.