Confessions of a Wanton

16 Dizzy

🎶the rabbit hole : In This Moment 🎶

I'm awakened by the sunshine streaming on my face. My head feels fuzzy. My neck hurts. I need water.

I'm on my couch. In the living room of my condo. I don't remember how I got here. How long I'd slept. I groan sitting up. I don't usually sleep well but my body feels like it's been sleeping for days. It cracks as I stretch.

My mouth is dry. Mmmm... need water.

I pad across the room, going into my kitchen. I feel so hungry. I stop.

I'm never hungry when I get up. Weird.

I grab my bottle, the dickless one. Chuckling.

I'll have to bring it with me on the next mission. Maybe accidentally forget it.

The water feels cool as it cascades down my throat. I drink it down, gasping for air as I refill it in my refrigerator. Goodness gracious I needed that. I chug another bottle full of water before feeling sated. I fill it again, so the next time I'm thirsty I don't have to fill it.

Lazy of me I know. I don't give a damn.

I open the freezer. I need meat. I'm so hungry. The water didn't stop the hunger pangs. Only the thirst.

I grab one of my prepared meals, the one with a small steak in it, tear off the cover and throw it in the microwave. My mouth waters as I watch the time clock tick down. I'm ready to devour it. I don't care if it's still a little bloody.

I'm opening the door before it can beep. Pulling the hot container out and tossing it onto the counter. I grab a fork and steak knife from a drawer.

I'm on the steak before I even realize I have it in my hands. Fuck. I'm eating like a damn animal. Where did I put the silverware?

It tastes so good I don't care.

I cross the kitchen and lean over my sink. My steak is dripping juices onto the floor.

I hate cleaning.

All that's left is the bone. And I'm gnawing on it. Sucking out the flavor like I can't get enough.

I want another one.

I should eat the rest of my meal first. The mashed potatoes and green beans are good for me. I don't want them though. I want meat.

Damn. What's wrong with me? I have more self control than this.

I take a few deep breaths. Steadying myself. Eyes closed. I open my eyes, staring at the floor. The fork is there. Along with the steak knife that's sticking upright out of the floor, tip buried in the wood. Damn. Good thing I didn't step on them. Or slice my foot while walking.

I pick them up. Throwing them in the sink before grabbing another fork. I'm going to finish the meal. If I'm still hungry after that I can have another. I'll just work it off later.

I grimace as I eat the potatoes. It's tastes off. Medicinal. I finish it anyways. Tossing the green beans into my mouth, not really tasting them. My head feels like it's finally clearing. I drink more water.

I open the drawer I keep my towels in. I grab the One with Flower on it. You know the one with the skunk from Bamb-!

My head is on fire. I feel like a bomb exploded inside it. I can barely feel myself sinking to the floor. I'm clutching my head as I feel like screaming. My mouth opens and closes, gasping for air that isn't coming. I can't make a sound. My eyes are wide staring up at the open drawer. The pressure in my head building. I need air!