Confessions of a Wanton

12 Not good

🎶 Fake : The tech thieves 🎶

I froze, muscles locking as I stare at the man before me as he looked back down at my feet. Hands still gently massaging, while he grimaced.

"Fuck. I knew I shouldn't have led with that." He huffed, putting my foot down in his lap. Sighing as he grabbed my other foot, gently repeating the motion he'd done with the other.

This is fucking confusing. He knows??

Then why the fuck is he rubbing my feet like that???

Why is he so gentle with me?

My vision blurs as hot tears stream down my cheeks. I don't even bother to wipe them away, too confused to really bother. Too apprehensive of the mans intentions of keeping such an insight and acting the way he is.

I'm in a state of shock, uncertainty freezing me from action.

Killian had taught me that if anyone called me out, to kill them immediately, leave the situation. Any time he needed information though, it had been imperative that I complete the objective before I return.

The fact of the matter is.... that I don't want to kill.... Damien.

And I don't know what Killian wants anymore.

"My next question... is...." he blew out a breath. Seemingly hesitant, unsure of what to say. He frowned down at my feet.

My heart is thudding in my chest. I don't want to hear what the next question is.

"....what do you know about wolves?"

Huh??

"Wolves?" I emphasized, bewildered. I couldn't help myself.

He looked up at me then, eyebrows raising in disbelief, mouth turned down in a frown. Surprise radiating from his still body. His eyes darkening as his gaze searches my visage, as if trying to discern the truth, before lingering on my tear soaked cheeks. His eyes close as his face scrunches, as if in pain.

I can't stop them from falling, the tears cascading, blurring my vision. A fog of confusion makes it hard to watch as the frown deepens the lines on his face. He doesn't have any, really, but right now he looks as though someone shot his dog.

"Is Jax ok?!" I cry out, remembering the night before, squeezing my eyes shut to shed the remaining tears quickly. 

"Jax is fine." Damien blinked.

A small smile curving his lips after my outburst. He blinked again, thoughts racing across his face, thinning back into a grimace, as he turned his gaze to the floor.

I'd had one normal day in my life. If I could call it that. Normal I mean.

Yesterday.

Girls like me don't get normal. It's a fucking setting on an appliance. I'm not wired that way. The way this entire 'mission' is going is a testament to how fucked up my life really is.

Yesterday went great... I thought... now....Waking up to phenomenal sex; feeling connection;  now wondering if there is even a connection at all since he fucking knew;  if I'd been the one used.... and now he's asking me what I know about fucking wolves??

What the gargantuan ass fuck?!

"You mean like, the animal right?" I'm feeling dumb here. Out of my element.

'I am not prepared for this at all.' I think as the panic attack attempts to overtake my body, my fingers trembling a first sign. My breathing falters. I have to remind myself to inhale the precious oxygen as my pulse slows, my blood feeling sluggish in my veins as my heart clenches, threatening to explode into a trillion pieces as the seconds seem to lengthen.