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Nancy~
I'm sat in the tent with the twins. Bette is trying not to look at me. Dot is smiling weakly.
"Thank you for coming back for us." Dot says, I can tell it was hard for her to say 'thank you' and I smile back at her. " I can't imagine how you felt when you were there. That freak was so boring." She lets out a chuckle and I laugh too. Bette glares at us.
"He's not a freak. He's a charming, handsome man and anyone would be stupid to leave him. He's perfect." Bette is having a dig at me.
"Bette you know he has something wrong with him. Don't try and defend him." Dot snaps at him. "Nancy came back for you. You told me that she was in trouble and you didn't help her... but she helped you and you haven't even thanked her!" She is raising her voice now.
"It's okay, Dot. I'm fine." I say, smiling.
"That's not what Jimmy said. When you came back to find us you were covered in blood." Dot blurts out. I wince as she says this and I can see that Bette feels bad.
"He beat you?" Bette chokes out. Like she couldn't believe that Dandy would do such a thing.
"No. Well, yes. It was his Maid's blood. He killed her and then beat me." I say, Bette looks horrified. Dot has a smug look on her face that says I told you so. I know they are having a debate in their heads.
Bette shakes her head, "I'm sorry, I didn't know... I thought he was perfect."
"It's okay Bette... you didn't know."
I wish you knew how I felt about you.
Bette~
I should've known Dandy was no good. Nancy told me in her letter she had to get away from him. Then I didn't believe her. As I look into her eyes she makes my knees weak. I hope that Dot doesn't know how I feel. I was hoping that after Dandy my feelings for her would disappear. They didn't. I know that she would never feel the same. So I have to keep my feelings bottled up.
Dot made Jimmy look like a fool today. She told everyone that We asked Miss Elsa to take us to Dandy's and that she didn't sell us off. She lied to everyone. Jimmy tried to tell everyone the truth but then Dot lied. I don't know why she did it. I know she likes Jimmy.
Elsa wants to talk to us.
Then it hits me. Dot wants something.
Nancy~
I leave the twins to talk to Elsa. I don't know where else I'm going to go, so I just end up wandering around the field. A lady comes out of her caravan. I think she's married to the strongman.
"Hey pretty lady. What are you doing over here?" She asks, "the show doesn't start for a while."
"Oh I'm here with the twins, I'm Nancy." I say, she looks at me.
"Desiree. You got anything wrong with you?" She looks me up and down.
"Not that I can think of." I say giggling. "Do you?"
"Three boobs." She says, winking and laughing back with me.
"I don't see anything wrong with that." I say. She puts her arm around me.
"You are a breath of fresh air. I can tell we're gonna be great friends." She laughs, "by any chance have you seen Jimmy? His mother is looking for him."
"I haven't see him." I say apologetically. Just as I say that, Jimmy and Dell come around the corner, screaming and shouting. Obviously very drunk.
Oh god, what now?
Dot~
The hairstylist Gladys does the final touches on Bette's hair. I don't know why, but Bette being blonde has made her extremely cocky. Like she believes she is better than me in some way. She is ordering everyone about. Elsa comes in to talk to us and hands me a note, which I put in my pocket for later.
Nancy comes in and looks surprised when she sees Bette. "You're blonde! Oh!" She says. Even I can see from here that she is mad about Bette. Her eyes light up.
"Don't blow her head up any bigger." I roll my eyes. Bette laughs slightly.
"Don't worry Dorothy. You will still be part of the act, even if I'm the star." She turns around to Nancy and whispers, "she's just jealous because I've replaced her."
"No point whispering when I can hear you." I hiss back at her. Which makes her laugh obnoxiously again.
"Now Nancy, don't think that you will be forgotten when I'm famous. After all we're gonna need an assistant to get us everything we require." She says in a sweet voice. She doesn't realise she's being rude, but I turn around to look at Nancy and see the hurt in her eyes. Anyone could see that she loves Bette.
"Oh..." she says, standing back a little.
"Now Bette, I think you'd better apologise." I say firmly. Nancy gives me a sympathetic smile.
"I don't need to apologise. I am the star. She's nothing but a girl from a rich family." Nancy gasps and steps even further back.
"Bette." I say a little more firmly, warning her.
"What? I'm surprised she's not still getting beaten by Dandy. That's what all those girls from rich families do, become housewives because they have no money of their own, and no skills to get a job. She has no place here unless she wants to be our assistant." I see the tears welling up in Nancy's eyes.
"Now stop it!" I shout at her, which makes her snap out of it a bit, but it's too late. Nancy ran out of the tent crying. "Look what you have done!"
I see the glint of guilt in her eyes as she realised herself what she has done.
Bette~
Oh dear what have I done? I fear I have pushed away the only person who actually cared about me. I don't know why I said those things. I feel disgusted with myself, and I can see that Dot is disgusted with me as well.
"I have to make this right." I tell her, but she stops me.
"Leave her alone. She won't want to see you right now." She says, and I agree.
"I'll write her a note then." I say, ripping a page quickly out of my precious diary, something that I wouldn't do for anyone else.
Nancy,
I am dearly sorry about how I have treated you... the truth is, I'm scared. Scared of my own feelings. Scared of myself. I don't know how to explain it. I don't expect you to forgive me, or even talk to me ever again.
I just need you to know one thing, even when I was with Dandy, I never stopped thinking of you. It made me sad because I don't think you will ever feel the same, so I pushed away how I felt and tricked myself into loving Dandy.
I realise now that I've gone wrong, terribly wrong. As a result I could have lost the only person who I really really care about. You. The truth is, I love you. More than anyone I've ever met. If you don't feel the same I understand, it's unheard of, and I don't even know why I feel the way I do. I just can't help it. Your smile brightens up my world, your laugh is contagious and your eyes are the prettiest eyes I have ever seen in my life.
All I could think about when I was away from you was your beautiful face, and how you have never judged us. Any of us, not just me and Dot. I've been pushing you away because I can't handle my own feelings.
I don't expect anything from this... but if you could find it in my heart to be friends with me, even if it's nothing more.
