teeth → l.h

chapter twelve;

tw // vomit

"Can I sit by the window?" Helena asks as she, Calum, and Ashton make their way down the aisle on the plane. "I like the clouds."

Calum rolls his eyes, but lets Helena by anyway. "You're so picky."

She's less picky, more outrageously jealous of Luke and Sierra and she wants to be as far away from them as she can possibly be without being suspicious.

Helena gives Calum an obnoxiously large smile. "You're the best non-brother ever."

"God." Ashton mumbles as he sits down.

"Bel, you're so far away." Luke whines as he sits down across the row.

"I'm not moving." Helena states as she leans across Calum and Ashton to talk to Luke. "You know I like the clouds."

"Why does he call you bel?" Sierra leans across Luke, and Ashton, Calum, and Luke all share annoyed glances.

"I'm the only one that calls her that." Luke thinks. "I'm the only one allowed to call her that."

"Wait, wait-" Luke interrupts himself as he laughs. "What the hell am I supposed to call you then? I can only make like, one good nickname out of Helena."

Helena chuckles. "My middle name's Bellamy, you could come up with something from that."

"Okay." Luke nods as he flops over onto his back, Helena following as they both stare up at the ceiling. "Okay uh, Bella, Lena..." Luke trails off as he thinks. "Ana, Ella- I guess there's more stuff from Helena than I thought."

Helena smiles. "Keep going."

"Bel." Luke says softly. "I like that. I'll call you bel."

"I like that too."

"My middle name's Bellamy." Helena replies. "It provides better nicknames than Helena." Also, Luke used to call me bel when we had sex but I can't tell you that, Helena briefly thinks. "All of my nicknames were made up by him."

Helena manages to hurt her own feelings, and decides to just shut up for the entire flight. She'd already been grouchy the entire first flight because she had to get up at three o'clock in the morning to leave, so she figures it's best if she just shuts up for the next 15 hours.

It's the middle of the night and the cabin is completely silent when Helena realizes that she's growing more and more nauseous by the second. She quickly gets up, scooting past Ashton and Calum as carefully as she can to not wake them, and speed-walks to the bathroom at the back of the plane.

Helena didn't even realize Luke was awake until he walked up next to her, concern washed over his face. "Are you okay?" Luke says softly as he leans into Helena.

Helena nods quickly as she opens the bathroom door. "Yep." She mutters as she turns around and shuts the door. She promptly vomits into the toilet, mentally noting that she never wants to do that ever again. Once she walks out of the bathroom, she sighs as she sees Luke still standing across from the door.

"Are you okay?" Luke asks once more. He knows she's not- he knows her well enough to know when she's sick. "Don't lie to me." He reaches out, pressing his hand against Helena's forehead, then her cheek. "You're warm."

"Stuck in a box with a bunch of people. I'm fine." Helena huffs as she and Luke make their way back to their seats. "I just got airsick, I'm good."

"I don't think you have a seat anymore though." Luke comments, gesturing towards the row, where Calum has his legs strewn across Helena's seat as he leans against Ashton. "Just sit with us."

"Are you sure?" Helena furrows her brows. The aisle seat in Luke and Sierra's row was empty and it'd definitely be fine, but Helena doesn't know how to act around Luke and Sierra.

"Yeah." Luke smiles softly. "You still look all sickly anyway, I'll keep an eye on you."

Helena's partly happy about Luke's comment, but the other part of her is endlessly pissed at him for moving on with Sierra even though Helena never told him how she feels. She was angry at herself for refusing to acknowledge the relationship they had until it was too late, and she was angry that Luke never pushed harder. She wished more than anything that she hadn't been too late.

As horrible as puking in the plane bathroom was for Helena, she decided sitting next to Luke and Sierra for nine hours was worse, solely because she was almost friends with Sierra and Helena had to act like she'd never slept with Luke. Granted, only one other person knew, so she was good at hiding it, but hiding it from Sierra made Helena feel like shit.

"Do you think they'll take me back right now if I turn around?" Helena asks nobody in particular. "I could j- I could get back on the plane and-"

"I can't believe you made her come." Luke mutters, bumping his shoulder against Ashton's. Ashton glances over to Helena. He partially feels bad, but he's just as nervous about seeing their mom as Helena is. They've been each other's moral support for family events since Helena was old enough to hate them. Ashton also knew he was favored by their mother, and it killed him to watch Helena practically beg their mom to love her, when the woman threw everything she had into caring for Ashton.

"Fuck you." Helena snaps as soon as Ashton answers the phone. She almost hangs the phone up directly afterwards, but stops as she still has another string or two of curses to throw at her brother.

"What the fuck did I do?" Ashton replies. He kind of does know, but Helena has a habit of being pissed at him for random reasons as of late, so he's not too sure anymore.

"Are you the one that convinced Luke to go to New York?" Helena raises her voice.

"Oh my god, Helena-" Ashton sighs. "He asked me about the school and I told him, I wasn't trying to convince him of anything."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Helena replies, softer now. She knows he's right- still hurts.

"I thought he would've." Ashton says softly. "Bright side, you can come visit because you'll have both of us here now."

"No," Helena shakes her head as tears fall from her eyes. "I can't. I- I'm gonna move to New York."

"What?" Ashton gasps. "Helena our mother will fucking murder both of us oh my-"

"She doesn't want me here." Helena scoffs. "She's waiting for my birthday to kick me out. please."

Ashton shuts his eyes as he leans against his counter. "Fuck."

"Ashton!" Helena sighs as her mom engulfs Ashton in a hug. She stands awkwardly behind them, alone as Calum and Luke run over to their families. She's used to her mom being cold, but it still sucks.

"Bel!" Helena looks over as Luke grabs her arm and pulls her towards his parents. "They want to say hi to you." he states, like this was something Helena should be well aware of by now.

Helena smiles as Luke's parents wrap her in a hug. "It's been forever, oh my gosh." Liz sighs. "How are you, honey?" She asks as she pulls away from Helena.

"A little tired." Helena laughs softly. "It's good to see you guys."

Helena loves Luke's parents; they were better parents to her than her own mom ever was. She wishes she could just go with them and spend Christmas with their family, but her mom would throw a fit and Helena really, really doesn't want to deal with it. She's too tired.

"If she gets on your nerves just call me, okay?" Luke says softly. "You can come over whenever, you know you're welcome."

Helena nods. As she leaves with Ashton and their mom, she wishes she would've just gone with Luke. She misses him more than anything.