teeth → l.h

chapter nineteen;

"Helena's my best friend we can't do this I-" Luke breathes heavily as his fingers tangle in Ashton's hair and Ashton kisses down Luke's neck. Luke doesn't even remember how it happened, but he knows he doesn't want to stop, no matter how pissed Helena would be if she knew.

"Please don't talk about my little sister when you're making out with me." Ashton mumbles against Luke's neck. "It's none of her business, anyway." Luke knew Ashton was right. It wasn't any of Helena's business, as much as Luke always thought his own business was.

Luke gently pulls Ashton back up to him, pressing their lips together. Ashton slides his hands under Luke's shirt, sending chills throughout Luke's body as Ashton touches him. "'s hot in here." Luke chuckles softly.

"Take your clothes off then." Ashton grins as he looks up at Luke. "Only if you want to though."

Luke smiles and plants a quick kiss on Ashton's nose before sitting up straight and pulling his shirt off. "Should we go upstairs?"

"No." Luke says in a low voice as he looks over his shoulder to the opposite side of the bed, where Sierra currently resides. "Not gonna happen." Luke had zero desire to ever revisit the details of their relationship. He never even dealt with those emotions and he'd prefer if they stayed buried.

"Luke-"

"I can't, ashton." Luke whispers as he tosses the blankets aside and stands up, exiting the room and shutting the door behind him. "I'm not doing this."

"Right," Ashton scoffs. "You're just going to ignore it like you did five years ago when Helena moved to New York and you didn't need me as her replacement anymore?"

Luke stays silent. as much as he hated to admit it within himself, Ashton was right. Luke was alone after he moved to the states and Ashton was just... there. It was more than that though, once it was actually happening, and Luke cared so deeply about Ashton at the end that he didn't even know what to do with his thoughts.

"I was actually fine, you know." Ashton says quietly after a while. "But the more you and Helena tell me about your relationship, the more I realize I really was just a temporary replacement."

"Y-" Luke swallows. "I loved you." He mumbles, and immediately wishes he could just rip his tongue out and never speak ever again. He had planned on never telling Ashton that.

"You have a tattoo?" Ashton gasps. "When did you get a tattoo and why is it on your hip?" He stares down at small letters on Luke's skin.

"It's a stick and poke," Luke laughs softly. "It's for my favorite All Time Low song, and it needed to be somewhere my mom couldn't see it."

Ashton smiles. "My sister did this, didn't she?" Luke grins sheepishly. "Of course she did."

"I thought you said we couldn't bring up your sister."

"That was before I knew she stabbed you with an ink-covered needle that probably wasn't sanitized." Ashton chuckles as he leans down and presses his lips to Luke's. "We can resume now."

"Don't." Ashton whispers as tears fall from his tears. "Shut the fuck up. You don't get to tell me that." He wants to crawl inside himself. Luke was right there, and if Ashton hadn't suppressed his feelings and pretended it was nothing more than just sex, he could've had him.

"I don't know what the fuck you want me to do." Luke exhales. "Just tell me what you want me to say and I'll say it because you clearly aren't interested in what I actually have to say."

"I'm just saying you don't get to pretend for five years that our relationship never happened, then tell me- then tell me you loved me." Ashton trails off as he mentions Luke loving him. He already regrets calling him.

"I never even thought to ask you if you've ever slept with a guy." Ashton glances up at Luke. "Are you sure you wanna do this?"

Luke nods as he pulls Ashton back to him, pressing their lips together. "Mhm. Did last year, I'm not entirely lost." Helena doesn't know about that. Ashton's actually the first person Luke's told about that.

Ashton chuckles. "Are you sure? I-"

"I'm sure."

"I made a mistake, okay?" Luke sighs. "I should've treated you better than I did when Helena got here, and I'm sorry; but you don't get to call me in the middle of the night and give me shit for a fling we had when I was eighteen."

"You're so goddamn confusing." Ashton laughs dryly. "I should've just shut the fuck up and buried this shit like I did five years ago." He promptly hangs up, dropping his phone into his lap and wiping the tears from his eyes.

He should've just left it alone. He should've just gone to bed, but now he's crying over a non-relationship that isn't even relevant anymore. He knows it's entirely his fault.

"I'm cold." Luke grumbles as he shuffles from the kitchen to the living room, a blanket wrapped tightly around his shoulders. "I miss warmth."

Ashton laughs. "It's not that cold." Luke plops down next to Ashton, leaning into him as Ashton wraps his arms around the man. "You're just not used to it getting below fifty degrees."

"I don't want to get used to it." Luke whines as he wiggles closer to Ashton, almost sitting in his lap as he pulls the blanket over his head. "I hate the cold."

"I know, darling."

Luke's heart skips like five hundred beats. He's not used to pet names and cuddling and just laying together in bed at night, talking about stupid shit neither party will even remember the next day. Everything was so different with Ashton, and Luke wanted it to stay that way forever.

Ashton absolutely hates himself as he crawls back in bed with Calum. He wants to tell him everything- he hates keeping things from him- but Luke and Ashton agreed to never tell anyone about their relationship, and as pissed as he was, he wasn't going to break that agreement; especially since Luke wasn't out to anyone else, not even Helena.

It was just a catch 22, Ashton thought; he was fucked either way and there was no getting out of it without anyone getting hurt.