teeth → l.h

chapter twenty-three;

Ashton's eyes burn as he stares up at his ceiling. He has to work tonight, but he still stares aimlessly as the sun comes up. He considered waking Calum up multiple times to tell him about Luke, but once 4 o'clock hit, he figured he was better off just sulking all on his own. He probably shouldn't cause that kind of drama in the middle of the night, anyway.

Ashton's alarm goes off at 6 o'clock, and he absolutely hates himself and everything else. "Why did I do that. Why did I not just sleep. What the fuck is wrong with me?" Are about the only things running through his head while he gets ready for work. That, and the crippling fear of telling Calum about Luke, accompanied by the very existence of this issue in the first place.

"You look exhausted." Calum says quietly as he walks up to Ashton, placing his hand on the bottom of the man's back and rubbing it softly. "Didn't get much sleep?" He asks, his voice hushed as he's still half asleep. He doesn't necessarily want to be awake right now, but he hasn't seen Ashton that much recently, due to their work schedules.

Ashton shakes his head as he turns to Calum. "Overthinking." He gives a half-smile as he drapes his arms lazily over Calum's shoulders. "You should go back to bed." He tells him. Calum's face is always soft and squishy in the mornings- or whenever he's barely awake- and Ashton so desperately wants to crawl back in bed with him and never leave that it's killing him. Not really- Ashton just has a tendency to be dramatic when it comes to Calum.

Calum smiles. "I wanted to see you before you went to work." He rests his forehead on Ashton's as he shuts his eyes. "Passing out after you leave though." He chuckles softly. "Won't sleep nearly as good without you here though." Calum considers adding, but he refrains, seeing as this comment would 100% convince Ashton to call out of work and lay back down.

"I love you-" Ashton whispers. "Like a lot, Cal." he means it with everything within himself, of course. It's the one thing that he's been completely sure about throughout the entire mess he's been in, and he doesn't see that changing anytime soon. He loves Calum with his entire being, and he's never, ever doubted that.

It would be nice, Luke thinks, if that was something he didn't have to question about anyone. Like Ashton, Luke was rendered completely unable to sleep all night, so he laid in bed staring at the ceiling until the sun came up, debating whether or not he should wake up Sierra and talk about things. At least she doesn't hate him, Luke thinks, because she probably wouldn't be in his bed if she did.

She probably would hate him if she knew about his relationship with Ashton, but Luke figures that's a conversation for another day. Sierra's already mad about Luke's relationship with the younger Irwin, so Luke thinks it's best not to bring the older one into it. Sierra probably knows though, and she probably hates all three of them, probably waiting to leave Luke, probably-

"Why are you awake?" Luke turns to face Sierra as she mumbles a few incoherent sentences. "'s like.. middle of the night." You are so fucking cute.

"It's seven." Luke smiles softly. "I couldn't sleep." He rubs Sierra's cheek softly as her eyes flutter shut again. "Want me to make some coffee?" Sierra hums in agreement, and Luke plants a kiss on her forehead before rolling back over and hopping up from bed, making his way downstairs.

"Maybe she forgot she's mad at me," Luke thinks as he makes coffee. He knows he's a dumbass, but he likes pretending he's not and that everything is completely fine. He'll deal with his shit, of course, just not right now. Not at seven in the morning.

Luke makes his and Sierra's coffee, and the pair sit in bed in silence, staring off at the wall as they sip from their mugs. "I was really insensitive when i just casually dropped that on you." Luke says softly after a while. "You already had doubts about me and her and I wasn't respecting that."

"It's not-" Sierra sighs. "Who you slept with before we were together is none of my business. Just- you both lied to me about your history; that wasn't cool." You talked to Helena? She talked to you? You've spoken to her before about me-

"I'd really just like the truth from now on." Sierra looks over to luke. "Your history with her isn't my business, but you straight up lying to me about it isn't okay."

"I know," Luke swallows. "It just wasn't something we ever talked about so the idea of someone knowing about it freaked me out and I guess- I guess it freaked her out too if she told you nothing happened. "

Luke later decides that he has to meet with Helena and figure out what the hell they're going to about literally everything they're currently dealing with, but she's pissed at him because he slept with her brother (something Luke also doesn't know how to tell Sierra about), so he doesn't see him talking to Helena about anything anytime soon.

And Helena? She just outright refuses to think about it. The thought of Luke basically replacing her with Ashton when he went to New York was destroying her and everything she's ever believed about Luke. It also makes her incredibly angry to think about the fact that Ashton found out about them just as his relationship with Luke ended, and he just completely ignored the fact that it was happening.

On the other hand, Helena wants to be there for Ashton because she knows he's upset and she hates seeing him like that. Ashton was there for Helena whenever she was dealing with anything growing up, so she can't help but feel like she needs to be there for him now.

Helena shuts her eyes and sighs as she speaks into the phone. Ashton didn't answer when she called and she's fairly grateful for that. "Uh, I'm- I'm still kind of mad at you but uh- I know you're upset and if you want to talk or just hang out whenever you get off work, I'm free. I, um- I kind of know what it's like to lose a non-existent relationship with Luke. It sucks and- and I don't know how you felt about him but he's kind of hard to not fall in love with so just... yeah, just let me know if you need anything."

"What the fuck was that about?" Calum furrows his brows as Helena quickly turns around, her eyes wide as she realizes that she has, once again, royally fucked up everything.

"Um," Helena clears her throat. "Y- you should ask Ashton." Nice. Never speak again.

Calum sighs. "Is that about why he's barely been sleeping?" Helena nods lightly. "Is he going to deflect it when I ask him about it? He- he is. Nevermind."

"Sorry you have to deal with it now." Helena smiles halfheartedly. "If it makes you feel any better, I wasn't supposed to know either."

It doesn't make Calum feel better but then again, he'd known for a while that something was going on, so he wasn't all that surprised by this. More than anything, he thinks, he just wanted to know so he knows how to be there for Ashton. He doesn't necessarily care about what happened in the past; he loves Ashton for who he is and whatever happened wouldn't change that.

Calum rubs his eyes as He sighs. "Y'all are so goddamn complicated. Why can you not just communicate-" He scoffs. "So many of your issues could be avoided by just communicating."

"I know," Helena chuckles. "But we make for a great reality show." Also, I was never taught how to communicate my feelings properly so now I just deal by deflecting things and pretending my issues aren't actually happening and that everything is fine.