Insight

Chapter Twenty-Two

Images of that dreadful night on the Starkiller Base infiltrated Kylo Ren's sleep. The screaming, the crying, the fighting, but mostly, death. Killing the past, leaving it behind. He had heard Snoke's voice in his head that night, pressuring him. Filling his head with rage. Making him feel anger that was buried a long time ago.

For his father. His own family. And he did it. Finally, after Snoke pushed him to every day. He killed him. He killed Han Solo.

Now, all that lives in him was guilt. It weighed on him hard, the only relief he had was Jade. Letting go of all inhibitions. Forgetting the world for a while in a cloud of pleasure. However, guilt still rung in him. He didn't even tell Jade what he had done to his own father.

In the late hours of the night, Kylo sat up abruptly from his sleep. The images pushing him to wake, not wanting to see them anymore. Rubbing his bare chest, he felt that familiar pull he had felt not so long ago. Crinkling his brows, he looked around before standing up. He looked down at Jade, her face just as blissful and soft as after their time together.

Suddenly, all noise was silenced.

"I'd rather not do this now..." Rey's voice echoed in his head.

"Yeah, me too." Still glancing down at Jade, a soft expression on his face before turning away from her.

"Why did you hate your father-" Rey turned to see Kylo, shirtless. Her breath caught in her throat as she looked away. "Do you have something, a cowl or something, to put on?"

He stood, looking at her. It was as if she was right there. The pull drawing him in more. His head tilted to the side a bit, studying the connection. Studying her.

"Why did you hate your father, give me an honest answer!"

Kylo still didn't respond, walking towards where she was.

"You had a father that loved you. That gave a damn about you!"

"I didn't hate him," Kylo finally responded to her in a low voice.

"Then why..."

"Why what... Why what? Say it."

Hearing his voice in the otherwise silence, Jade stirred in her sleep. Reaching over for him, but quickly realizing he wasn't next to her, she slowly sat up. She rubbed her eyes as she saw him standing in front of the bed, facing the wall. His fists were tight at his sides. Confusion struck her as she watched him, quietly.

Choking back tears, Rey struggled with the words. "Why did you... Why did you kill him."

A moment of recognition of the past. His past. Of Luke Skywalker, of his mother. His late father. "Let the past die. Kill it, if you have to. That's the only way to become who you are meant to be."

"Kylo?"

Jade's soft voice pulled him away from Rey, immediately turning his head to find her sitting up on the bed. Her eyes read of utter confusion. "What's going on?"

At a loss for words, he padded over to his bedside, dipping back into the warm nest. He pulled her close to him, kissing the top of her head. Once he let her go, he rubbed the side of her face with the back of his hand. "Go back to sleep," he started, but Jade wasn't having it. She knew something was up.

"Kylo Ren. I thought we've been through this." She now sat up a little more, looking down at him. "What is going on? Tell me."

He sighed heavily, eyes closing for a moment as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "I saw her again. Rey. I saw her yesterday in the medbay and I saw her again just now." Her face tilted as he spoke. He pushed himself up, propping his elbows onto his knees. "She almost forces her way into my mind. Or I do to hers. I'm not sure how it works, honestly."