Love, Hate, Everything.

Chapter 11

I can't imagine myself that I had to get over him, most definitely didn't want to keep feeling this way, alone in a love affair meant for two. Even I felt like he's the one. Even if I'd always thought we'd end up together. Even he had still a choke chain in my heart.

We're helping my brother Miles to get their new home after adopting new babies. They're so cute. Get going. Miles calls me and rushing towards them.

Before I had a chance to get in the car,   somebody called out. Miles staring at the person right ahead of us.

He stared blankly.

''Drayden?'' I say.

''Can I talk to you?'' He asked, and sounded timid.

I turned to Miles.

''Just give me five minutes,'' Drayden mentions candidly.

''I know it's been a long time since the first time I've know you after the school internship. But I want to tell you that I am afraid to lose you.'' He says.

''You know that Noah dates me right?''

''Yea, I know that. But I wasn't sure at first. Now I am convinced how much I care about you, and I don't want to lose the opportunity not to tell you this. I will not easily be giving up on us.'' He explains.

''Keely! Come on! Ross is waiting.'' Miles said.

It's hard for me to pretend that I don't like him when in reality I am crazy about him. Something smile curved my lips. I had missed calls and messages from Noah and didn't mean to ditch him for not following him in Tennessee.

The hardest part of being a parent like Miles and Ross is like they aren't of a normal family. They are building from an artificial donor of sperm, and have babies, sometimes the rejection from the homophobic or negative reactions, sometimes making the child's parent of LGBTQ identity as a secret in the family.

Though I would like to fill that negative part as a positive side. I would love them as my real nieces. I wonder how Noah would know if I chose not to like him that much. Don't wanna be the reason to get him hurt. Told Drayden that I wouldn't continue to follow Birkett, I had reasons.

The following day came over, Drayden was waiting for me at his favorite spot. I went there, as he thought that I wouldn't come. I saw his frustrated look. I sit beside him.

''You know when I saw you and Renee were together, that is the time I feel get jealous, and the same day I wish I could confess,'' I say.

''I never know that you like me first.'' He mumbled.

''Because definitely, you are an asshole.'' I giggled.

Saw his smile, that makes my world go round, my heart is pounding. I feel like the head in the cloud.

''Maybe I am not too good saying what I feel. But I am really sure about this thing, the thing that I shouldn't be messed up this time.'' He says.

A jiff of silence came between the both of us.

''No. Not yet. I am still finding enough time.'' I muttered under my breath.

When you try to play it cool that's when you had enough reasons to feel like you're on the top of your lungs and able to breathe, after infatuated with the most popular guy at school Noah Birkett.

And I know that Camilla is still part of him, and doesn't want to remove those memories because he should keep her remembrance. Sometimes when we are just afraid to let go of something big, without even knowing that there's something greater coming. There comes a time that it's very hard to move on, but once you move on, you'll realize it was the best decision you've ever made.

It's Sunday, and I have a date with my best friend Suzy. It's been a while since the last time we've seen each other. Got up to the cool restaurant which has been renovated, and my mom used to bring me here when I was a kid.

She sips his drink after ordering a large pizza.

''You should tell him right away.'' She muttered. ''And I made Hale kinky.''

''No, stop,'' I say.

''He's a great kisser, and-''

''Stop, stop. Hey Suzy.'' I place both hands as I cover it in my ears.

I had a video call from Miles while done doing the laundry. Miles went to his music class, and Jeffrey is still in his room sleeping after getting drunk last night. Miles is away, and I wasn't accustomed that he is not around because he is the big brother here. I skip eating lunch.

''How's everything there?'' He asked as I turned my face to my iPad.

''It's fine though Jeffrey is still on his bed. Hales has his class.'' I say.

I moved to sit in the living room, ''Just wait a second.''

Get some burger that I forgot to eat last night, after Hale drop at the drive-thru. I took the spicy chili sauce, and drip it.

''Aren't you afraid that Noah might know that you were hanging out with Hendry?''

''I will tell him as he goes back soon,'' I muttered.

''I understand you, my little sister. Don't be afraid to reject someone because you don't love him. We all deserve that. We hate the person knows that we like them even if we don't.'' Miles says. ''I know he would understand. Yes, he will get hurt and broken but he can move on again, and can found someone who will love him for more than he deserves.''

The following day, the cold air cuddling my arms. It was exquisite and got a text message from Drayden. I miss painting so he decided to paint again even though the disbandment of the painters club after breaking up their organized group.

He pulled my hand, ''Where are we going?''

We got up to his car and headed to the central cool, and laid back still leafy and full, distant wide,  of a valley and can see the whole view of Santa Monica.

He took the tools, and the canvas while I let my lungs breathe. Exhaled. ''Here's my escape, where I want to be alone. You can see the whole view here. I would like to paint here, and here is your blank canvas.'' He says.

''Paint your mood, because an artist would not get enough by herself of what it wants to express by its own feelings.'' He muttered.

It's just him and me. It was four o'clock in the afternoon. I placed my canvas and started painting.

''You look like have an improvement.'' He said as a compliment.

''Oh yeah. Should I be flatter?'' I grinned.

"They say that if the result of the canvas describes how the artist feels.'' He mentioned.

The sky washes to cerulean, 'till the light disappear. I know Hale will be waiting for me now since Miles told him to look after me. We rode home together, as I got up to my house. Drayden let himself open the door, and get outside.

A familiar guy is standing behind, blonde hair talking to Hale. Obviously, they are waiting for me patiently as I came over. Noah width his smile pulled me into a hug.

''I miss you.'' He whispers for uncomfortable longing.

He's back now. I saw Drayden is leaving away, and he's maybe probably gone forever. I don't know.