Regina has the sweetest heart alive. She refuses to see the bad in people and only allows to see the good. Even if it's not there. She refuses to use any hate or anger but her grief is insufferable and weighing down her life until sometimes... she j...
I slowly open the door handle to her fairytale bedroom but keep her eyes screwed shut tight. "No peeking" I coo as an adorable little giggle follows. This is the very first night Elena is staying with me, and I've spent the entire week designing her room for her.
As we step through the bedroom, I slowly count down... "3... 2...1... okay you may open your eyes" I pry my hands from covering her eyes and allow her to take in her surroundings and immediately she gasps at the view. "It's beautiful right?"
"Regina! This is amazing!!" She giggles. Spinning around and looking at every item in her room. She looks at her pale pink walls, her lilac curtains, her bed that is built high in a castle and all her toys. "Lola even has a castle bed" she shrieks and immediately runs over to Lola who is already loving her new bed.
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"Do you love it?" I coo again, taking a seat upon her bed and tapping it softly, signally for her to come and join me. Of course she comes running and closes the little curtains and cuddles up beside me.
"I really do. Thank you." She hugs my side as I lay beside her. "Can we read a book?"
"Of course. I have princess and the pea" I offer, pulling a book from a shelf build beside her bed and immediately she nods. "Once upon a time..." ———————————— My eyes are screwed shut tight but my ears are welcoming all the morning sounds. The birds tweeting, the cars rushing through the streets, the barking of lola... Lola.
My eyes immediately flutter open remembering this was Elena's first night here with me. I open my eyes to see myself in her room, curled up in her bed with a blanket thrown over me. I tear back the throw and head out the room, down the spiral stairs and stop at the front door.
"Good morning sweetheart" I coo as I see Elena teaching for Lola's lead. She has her little fluffy boots on and her long rain coat. "Elena where are you going?"
"To take Lola for a walk, she keeps barking, I didn't want her to wake you" she says, jumping one more time for the dog lead and fails yet again just from how short she is.
"Darling, you're too young to take Lola on a walk by yourself"
"I am not. None of my other foster parents cared if I was out by myself" she sasses, placing her hands on her hips.
"Okay but Elena, I care. I care about you and I want what's best for you. And that's your safety." I softly state cupping her chin and placing a kiss to her forehead. "Now how about we have some breakfast, I get dressed and we take Lola on a walk, she can come to our grief meeting if you still want to go" Elena nods in response, but I know she's holding things close to her chest. Maybe she doesn't want to open up, but we share the same experience, I know exactly what she is going through. "And let's get lola some breakfast too"
So that's exactly what we do, I make some breakfast for Elena myself and Lola. I get dressed and we go a walk.
A peaceful stroll through the park, but the saddening thing is that Elena didn't even wish to play on the park. No, she did not wish to play on the swings, or run around on the field, or join in with the other children playing tag. But she isn't like other children, she's hurting, she's emotional, she's broken inside and that breaks me.
I would give anything to see Elena be happy. She deserves to be happy. As difficult as it is, I believe we both need to put the past in the past and move on. Together. She doesn't open up and she stays a distance from everyone. She has no trust in anybody, not even me.
She only talks if I start a conversation, so that is what I do in this moment of silence.
"So... did I fall asleep before you last night when I was reading the story?" I look over to Elena as she takes the tennis ball from Lola's jaw and throws it so many yards in front as Lola takes off chasing it.
"Yes"
"Okay, so did you put the covers on me?" I question and watch as she flinches from the kind gesture she doesn't want to admit.
"Yes"
She doesn't let off much, just simple yes or no answers.
"Well thank you for that. But where did you sleep, the other side of your bed barely looked slept in"
"I slept in your bed" she admits in a low tone. "Sorry"
"Don't be sorry hunny, I'm sorry I fallen asleep and hogged your bedroom on your first night here, I'll make sure I don't do that tonight" I softly chuckle and become somewhat satisfied when I see Elena's lip turn just the slightest into a smile, however she is quickly distracted by Lola charging back at us with her toy.
They might only be little steps towards Elena being happy but those little steps will all add up to be a big leap towards happiness. Maybe I can't be the one to give Elena a family. I don't think anyone will be good enough for her, she deserves the world, she deserves to have her own family here today with her and watching what a beautiful young girl she is, but that's not the case. So I hope she will at least allow me to be her foster family. I'm all she has and I will promise to love and protect her and care for her in no way any of her other foster families have.
