Whirlwind of trouble

26

I look over to granny, my eyes stained red and puffy. "Irish coffee please" I groan. Needing a shot of whisky in my coffee this morning.

"We don't offer alcohol in our coffee Madam Mayor, but I can offer a coffee and a chat" she kindly offers and I give a weak smile in return.

"Thanks, that won't be necessary" I take my coffee and slide into a booth and stare out the window. Where cars pass, snow falls down softly, not enough to set on the wet floor. The birds fly across the well lit winter sky and the wind whistles and brushes the trees in the prettiest way possible.

Don't you just love nature? The ways the naked trees feel so free. They're completely bare of their leaves but still express themselves so freely and dance so carelessly without a care who's watching.

The way birds find the Geese fly through the air making sweet noises with their partners. Did you know Geese find their companions for life. They mate for life and stay together until death do them part. They're quite romantic.

And the way the snowflakes fall so slowly, in opposition to myself who is falling so fast.

"Regina"... I whip my head away from the window and see Snow sliding into the booth. "You're miles away. I called your name at least 5 times."

"Sorry" I sigh, looking to Mary Margaret's eyes, she drops her goofy gaze and replaces it with a much more sympathetic one.

"Regina, what is the matter?" She asks seriously as she notices my blood shot eyes. "Where's Emma? I thought she was staying yours last night?"

"She did, I left a note telling her to look after Elena for a moment, I needed to some air to clear my head" I sigh again Regina instantly picks up her to go tea and stands up from the booth.

"Come on, let's go on a walk" she urges, so I pick up my to go cup of coffee and leave the diner with her.

I guess you can say me and Snow have a friendship brewing. I have friends in this city, but not many. I have ruby to an extent, she's more Emma's friend though, and then there's Robin, but that's just awkward because he wanted to date me, so I guess Snow is all I have right now.

"Ignore the fact I'm Emma's mom, you can talk to me Regina. As your friend" she encourages and bumps her shoulder into mine ever so slightly.

"Emma and I had incredible sex last night" I blurt out fast and watch as Mary Margaret tenses for a moment but shrugs it off, remembering she's my friend in this moment, and not Emma's mother. "Then we went to bed, and cuddled and everything felt so perfect. I started to fall asleep in her arms and I felt safe, happy, everything was bliss"

"Okay... so why are you here alone, crying?"

"I was falling asleep in her arms, she thought I was asleep, she pulled back a piece of my hair, placed a kiss to my temple and whispered that she loves me" a single tear trickles down my face and Snow stops dead in her track, so I turn to face her.

"I'm slightly confused..." Snow draws out in confusion, pinching her eyebrows together. "Is that not a good thing?"

I know what you guys are thinking too... why would I not be happy about that? Because, I've lost everyone I loved in the past. Daniel, my father, my mom abandoned me and Mal loved alcohol more than me,  although I still believe I'm the reason she started drinking, because I was so wrapped up in work and sex. I guess that's why I started grief group in the start, because of the amount of people I've lost. People are in and out my life quicker than a blink of an eye. I either drive people mad, or drive them out my life and I'm not ready for Emma to be one of those people too.

"Everyone I love leaves. Daniel, my father, my mom, mal, I'm not someone who deserves love Mary Margaret." I groan as I take off walking again, and I hear snow catching up with me. "Don't start with one of your hope speeches. It's easy for you, you're all loved up and happy and you believe everyone can find that but not everyone can. Not when you're Regina Mills, the whirlwind of trouble" I scoff as I throw my hands in the air with exaggeration and let them drop to me side.

"Do you love her?"

"What?" I look to my friend who is being completely serious.

"Come on Regina, it's just you and me. Do you love Emma?" She asks, taking a sip of her tea and so I do the same to buy some time. I sip my coffee and think for a moment.

I was happy in Emma's arms. She was my safe space for a brief moment, my heart fluttered harder than butterflies in my belly.

When I'm with Emma I'm smiling constantly, with Emma I feel like god is finally forgiving me and giving me a blessing by allowing us to be together, and Elena; and my job. Everything is perfect.

So I'm some ways yes.

"Yes." I say out loud and realise what I just said. "Wait no... I don't know" i shrug as I look to Snow. "I just don't want Emma to be another one that leaves or gets hurt because of my doomed curse god put over me"

"I think all this time you've been waiting for Emma. Emma loves you so much Regina. You've both fixed each other and I can see how happy you both are. Stop living in fear, live in the moment" snow says, and for once I'm hanging on her every word, because she's being truthful. "Now in this moment, you've left Emma at your home, looking after your daughter, with a note that will leave her emotions guessing like crazy why you've left. Go to her. Tell her you love her, live in the moment"

And before I can acknowledge what I'm doing, my feet take off running back to my mansion, leaving Snow alone but I'm sure she won't mind.

I burst through my door, exhausted and panting, I find Emma and Elena in the kitchen, Emma I'd say drinking a coffee and Elena is eating breakfast, they chat as I make myself known in the kitchen. They both turn their head to me with plenty of questions in their mind.

"Are you okay?" Emma asks. As far as Emma is aware, she doesn't know I heard her.

"Where have you been?" Elena asks in unison.

I walk over to Emma, ignoring Elena in the room for a moment and I cup her cheeks and stare deeply into her green eyes. I pull her into a deep loving kiss and pull away for a short second. "I love you too"