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I’ve once read a quote that says ‘Whenever God restores something, He restores it to a place greater than it was before’.
As a believer who has seen the mighty works of God, I came to believe it. I saw it in the life of King David, I saw it in the life of Moses, how God used their weaknesses for His Glory. I knew and was always amazed by the wonderful testimonies.
What I did not know, however, is how an experience with failure can change all that one believes. I’ve always known that God was a God of restoration, but when I needed His restoring touch, I could not bring myself to believe it, anymore.
I turned towards my own self, indulging in the filth I was trapped in and forgot about the God who has all the ability to get me out.
Repeatedly I’ve asked, how can He love me still after all I’ve done? I was already saved, and yet again I found myself rebelling against his character. I’ve failed, I failed my God.
For years, sin was my mantle.
For a long period of time, my name was Adulterer.
There came a time when I just began to accept, maybe I was born to fail, that my life’s purpose was to be a warning to others. Maybe this was my identity. Failure.
I began to believe that, but had I known God’s full plan, I would not have allowed myself to partake even in an inkling of that lie.
I took in a breath as a view of the people filled pews met my gaze, I gazed towards the man in the altar, and immediately a smile adorned my lips. I lifted the long gown I wore, walking as I held on to Uncle Dennis’ arms.
It was a lie. It was all a lie. I wasn’t born to fail, my identity is not failure. I may have strayed so far, yet in this distance I’ve come to discover the depths of God’s love.
People always ask me why my worship is always paired with tears. I usually just smile in response. Beginning the day I’ve felt His restoring touch, my life had become a testimony that Indeed, those who have been forgiven more, will love more.
Every mess He can turn into a message
Every trial He turns into a testimony
Every weakness, He can turn and use for His Glory
That is the God I serve, and the more I get to know Him, the more I fell in love
“You look beautiful,” I heard David whisper, taking my hands as I walked beside him.
“Thank you,” I breathed, my gaze towards him as I spoke.
Pastor Nestor cleared his throat, a smile on his lips as he took his place in our midst. The music came to a halt at Pastor Nestor’s word, and with this, He began to speak,
“Do you, David Awiyao, take Zarinna Bunhiyan as your lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?” He gazed towards David.
“I do,”
I felt my heart flutter as I heard his words. For the first time, I have a man that can say to me I do, a man who I can say is ... mine.
“Do you, Zarinna Bunhiyan, take David Awiyao, as your lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?"
I took in a breath as I saw Pastor Nestor gaze towards me. My lips curved to a smile, my heart welling with indescribable joy as I looked into David’s eyes.
“I do,”
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