Requested by Lurkerbelow
Me:Yes! YES! It is finally time to review a game from one of the best video game series...OF ALL TIME!!! It's time to head into Kamurocho and review a game from the Yakuza series!
Onyx:*sighs* Here we go with the fanboyism. Thanks for what you've unleashed, Lurkerbelow...
Me:Damn it, Onyx, let me have this! Anyway, this game series is one of the best yet doesn't get nearly the recognition it deserves, in my opinion. And in this chapter, we'll be reviewing Yakuza Kiwami!
Connie:Then stop fanboying and let's review it!
Me:I'd say "go eat a dick" but I can smell Kevin's on yours right now.
Connie:WHAT?!?
Steven:Let's just review this game.
Pearl:I must say: The opening is very well made. So much emotion for a video game.
Me:That's the beauty of it. The developers really do their research into every aspect of Japanese culture with these games. Even the names and meanings behind the tattoos of characters like Kiryu or Majima. Or even Kuze from Yakuza 0. He actually has my favorite one: The Enma.
Garnet:What's the meaning behind the Enma?
Me:Enma or "The Judge" is from the Buddhist religion. He is the one that judges and decides whether you go to Heaven or Hell. Which is ironic because of this theme when you fight Kuze in Yakuza 0:
(A/N:I know we're reviewing Kiwami but this theme and Kuze from 0 are too badass to NOT talk about!)
Onyx:There's also the Azure Dragon which is Kiryu's tattoo.
Me:And the Hannya for Majima. And speaking of Majima, while I love him, he is responsible for the most ANNOYING AND REPETITIVE part about Yakuza Kiwami:
Me:This. This Bullshit: MAJIMA EVERYWHERE...
Steven:It's that bad? All you do is fight him, right?
Me:*laughs sarcastically* Oh you poor naive cinnamon roll. Yeah, you fight him. Over and over and over and over and OVER AND OVER AND OVER!!!
Onyx:The worst part? You HAVE to do this to get all of the Dragon of Dojima moves for Kiryu.
Me:Well, other than the ones Komaki teaches you. Thank God I didn't need to do Majima Everywhere to get Tiger Drop.
Onyx:AKA the most OP move in the damn series....
Steven:Well, this seems like a fun game. But the story is really emotional. Kiryu and Nishiki seemed like good friends.
Amethyst:Until Nishiki turned on Kiryu.
Peridot:Yeah. And after Kiryu pretty much gave himself up to protect Nishki and Yumi.
Me:Hmm. A friend turning their back on a friend who saved their life....sound familiar, Connie?
Connie:Fuck you.
Me:You aren't my type. And I want to stay disease free, if you don't mind.
Lapis:*snickers* Anyway, back to Kiryu and Nishiki, Nishki does redeem himself at the end.
Me:Yeah. Right after the boss battle against THIS shitbag:
Spinel:Haruka's Dad?
Me:Yeah. Jingu is the shitbag who many people forget nowadays is Haruka's Dad. Let me explain how this goes and WHY this fight is the bane of my existence:
This fight doesn't start out like the normal ones where he's right there for you to beat. Instead you have deal with his armed swat bodyguards. And trust me: This isn't easy because each of them are armed to the fucking teeth with knives, pistols and grenades. If one of them isn't gonna shoot you, someone else will. Even worse, they come in packs and this is a clusterfuck that will drain your health items that you'll need for not only Jingu himself, but Nishki afterward(although Nishki is way easier than Jingu).
And when you finally get to Jingu, you probably think things will calm down, right? But oh boy, what do you know: YOU'RE FUCKING WRONG! This is actually where shit gets worse! Not only do you have Jingu, but you have two of his bodyguards who not only have bosslike HP, but they also have guns!
Just trying to focus on one target is a pain in the ass because all of them are deadset on ending you. So it's hard to figure out who to start with amidst all this chaos.
Now I know what you may be thinking: "Oh. I'll just take out the two bodyguards then go after Jingu." Well guess what? That won't work either. Know why? THEY FUCKING REVIVE AFTER YOU BEAT THEM. Thankfully they only revive with knives, but they'll still give you a hard ass time.
Also, thanks to the new finisher system in Kiwami, if Jingu falls to a certain point in HP, guess what? He'll start to recover it and unless you have some items that can restore Heat, good luck doing a Heat move to stop him while his bodyguards are kicking your ass.
The thing that pisses me off the most is how this asshole sits his politician ass in the back laughing like a hyena while he shoots you and throws bombs at you while you have to deal with his bodyguards.
Pretty much: You have 3 motherfuckers armed with guns with Jingu armed with bombs he can throw at you any time he wants.
And to answer why them having guns is bad? Damage from guns had an overhaul from Yakuza 0 that carried over to Kiwami, which is wincing in pain when getting shot.
*Takes a deep breath*
*Steven hugs me.*
Me:Thank you. I needed to get all of that out. Do the outro, Onyx?
Onyx:You got it. Keep em coming guys!
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Steven and the SU Crew Review Video Games!
RandomSteven reviews Video Games with his crew!
