Dyslexic

Alternative Ending

But something pulled me back.

Before I knew I was pulled back to the cliff and was on my bum. Wasn't I supposed to be on the ground lifeless? What? I turned around and saw Emma looking at me. She looked so disappointed and saw biting her lips like she was keeping herself from crying. I looked down. This wasn't supposed to be like this.

What I did wrong? How the hell she woke up? She shouldn't have seen me like this. Maybe she will let me go and I will finally do what I want after what happened.

"Em-Emma I-I" I gulped. I wasn't able to talk I felt so embarrassed, hopeless, confused and lost at the moment. I was suffocating myself with my own emotions. I wanted to rub my neck and try to save myself but there was nothing on my neck. I was doing this to myself. My hands were on my lap and I was still sitting on the edge looking down.

"Why?" I heard Emma's voice. I could sense the fear and disappointment and sadness in her voice. It was cold like she wanted to filter her emotions.

"I-I I'm s-sorry." I managed to choke out before starting to cry like hell.

I felt dizzy and my body fell forwards to Emma as she hugged me. I didn't black out I just couldn't hold still. I was shaking badly and crying like I never did before. I felt Emma rubbing my back.

"Shhh. It's alright for the moment." She tried to soothe me with her relaxing words and her finger running through my knotted colorful hair. I placed my face against her shoulder and closed my eyes.

I was still shaking and I couldn't stop it. What did I just try to do? I just tried to commit suicide. I just-

"I thought you promised me not to try something like that again the last time." She said as she continued combing my hair with her fingers.

"I'm sorry." I said. Because honestly I didn't have anything to say. I was speechless. I actually didn't understand how she was handling this. She was so strong unlike me.

"I told you not to do that again. And you promised. You promised me Michael. You promised." I heard her whispering. I knew she was trying to stay strong for both of us but I also knew she wasn't couldn't keep up with this any longer because I could hear the cracking in her voice. I could feel her chin trembling on my head and her hand that were going through my hair shaking.

God I am so stupid for doing this. Trying to do this. Look what I've put us through. But all I wanted was her to be happy.

"You being yourself makes me happy Michael. You don't have to show any other effort to make me happy. Because I am happy if I'm with you. Don't you get it your existence makes me happy."

She told me she was happy with me being me and just being alive. But I still wanted her to be more happy. I'm not gonna lie I still think that she'd be better without me but if she really wants to be with me. And if she tells me that I make her happy, me being alive makes her happy then so will I.

If I were destined to be alive I'm glad I'm alive because of Emma.