Troubled Souls // 5SOS

II ∞ Happy/Sad/Angry

• Michael •

I may not be able to say much during the support group meetings, but my head is constantly full.

Why the hell is Luke here? The others didn't believe him when he said that he's not like the rest of us, but I know for a fact that it's the truth. There couldn't possibly be anything wrong with Luke, he doesn't care enough to have any problems. He doesn't care about anything. That's what makes him so untouchable. How could he possibly have depression?

Sophie has a system that we start on the second day of our meetings. The first day was just for introductions. The system is that, every day we come in, we talk about something we saw or thought during the week that made us happy, sad, and angry. Well, everyone else talked. I just wrote in my notebook.

After Sophie finishes explaining her system, we begin going around the circle and sharing our own thoughts. Beth, who is sitting next to Sophie, begins.

"Well, something that made me happy today was that, when my mum and I went to the grocery store, I didn't get the urge to steal anything," she begins. "That means that my meds are working. There isn't an actual medication for kleptomania, but I take antidepressants to suppress the urges that I get to steal."

Sophie nods. "And was there something that made you sad?"

"My mum lectured me before we went into the grocery store because I stole something and got into trouble the last time we were there," she replies. "It made me sad because she feels like she's unable to trust me and it made me angry because she thinks that, just because I did something wrong once, that I can't get better and fix myself."

"Thank you for sharing, Beth," Sophie says with a smile. Beth nods, smiling. I think it's really refreshing to see someone who can talk about their disorder so calmly.

I also think she looks beautiful when she smiles, but that's not important.

"Calum?" Sophie asks. "Would you like to share?"

Calum nods. "Something that made me happy this past week was that I got to cook a meal with my family. Every week, my whole family, my mother and my father and my sister and I, all make and eat at least one meal together and it just makes me feel good because I know that they care and they want to help me get through my problems as a family.

"Something that made me angry and a little sad was that a couple of my sister's friends talked to me and got mad at me because they think I'm faking my eating disorder to make fun of them. They said that it's an exclusively female problem and that me pretending to have it is rude to them. It just makes me frustrated that they think I'm not allowed to have my own issues just because it's more popularly known as a female problem. Males suffer from it, too."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Calum," Sophie says, her voice full of genuine sympathy. "Just know that we're here for you when things like that happen, okay?"

Calum nods and now it's Jade's turn.

"Well, this is gonna sound really weird, but I'm actually kind of glad that I stayed up late last night because I finished the book I've been reading and I just felt really productive," she replied. "It made me happy."

"Jade, I'm glad that you were productive and that it made you happy, but don't you wish you could've gotten some sleep?" Sophie replies, choosing her words very carefully. Jade shakes her head.

"One of the causes of my insomnia is me feeling like I didn't accomplish everything I was supposed to get done that day," she replies. "If I have something unfinished, it will stress me out and keep me from sleeping. That and my panic attacks keep me up."